You Kept It How Long - Vlog 8
Tears, 😢 Catharsis 💙 and Incredulity 😱
It must have felt important because I kept it for 20 years!!! 😱
No, surely not?
That can't be possible.
But, incredibly it is.
And the really weird thing is that now, having let it go, I cannot for the life of me work out why I held on so long!
I was busy on Steemit again this morning and also practising my 45 minutes on and 15 minutes off habit. As I let things unfold I got into a bit more clutter busting.
It was making so tearful at one point, that I held onto a tissue whilst making my Vlog . . . just in case. However, it wasn't needed in the end, I'm happy to say.
Full story in the video . . .
Oh, I have such a hard time going through old photos and files, especially when they're full of my children's pictures and of my father.
It almost feels like grief. It is letting go of something that was young or pure or...whatever the situation was/is. Thank you for sharing your cathartic moment.
Yes. In one of the boxes I found my Dad's old binoculars. I must have kept them telling myself I might use them, but I never have. I did not quite get rid of them though as my partner said he would like to use them! Maybe they will go in the next clear out.
Thanks for joining the conversation @mere99.
Hi Gillian,
We tend too often to gather stuff, I'm guilty. But I try and sort things and enjoy doing it; I put the music on and start looking around for useless stored stuff. Sometimes I also have meetings like that of yours, past calling. "Looking back into the past", hard trip most of the times that leads to catharsis not whithout a fee.
I don't like travels to past, nothing alive is there, nothing that exists now. But it keeps calling and holding out its hands to stretch you by its side. When horrible things happend to you, your wounds or that of your beloved ones remain to hold you on that past from wich you cannot scape.
It would be more the same to hold on the beautiful marvellous momments that we lived, we would get trapped by the sirens sweet singing.
Like backpacks we carry our past and all the things we gather, the more we hold the more heavyly we move.
As time goes by I'm realizing that gathering stuff has no sense but that of its use. It's obvious and so I will skip about being wise and foresighted. The "now" that we are loosing as we're talking or as I'm writing is the "most" we can have, shouldn't we waste too much time out of that... maybe art can help dealing on this, sometimes. Music helps me out.
"Life itself it's the ultimate adventure"GP
Thank you for your thoughtful reply, as always @drakernoise. I don't think I have anything to add this morning. Have a wonder full day! 😍
Good reminder - "Life itself it's the ultimate adventure". Thank you,
Letting go of certain things in our lives and past can be enormously challenging!! - But you seem to feel good about it overall and that's a wonderful thing! Hats off to you hon xxx
Thanks @jaynie. I'm loving it to be honest, even if it's a bit challenging at times. A few tears are nothing compared to the physical, emotional and mental space I am creating. 😍
Precisely @gillianpearce!!!!
Thank you very much for this video! I'm very sorry that I'm not currently able to discuss topics important for you. English language is not my strong suit )) I would like to communicate using this language much better than I can now. Too much important things escapes me and I can not fully communicate on serious topics, especially if do not use an translater. (now I'm using it))) Here on steemit is a nice practice for me, cos in everyday life, in "offline" I also have not so many possibilities to do that. And this your vlog - great thing because I can hear the real, honest English on which a very pleasant person communicates! And you know, you have a very nice voice! really! ) Thank you again
Thank you for listening @whitehoune especially as English is not your first language. It must make it much harder work.
Would you like me to help improve your language skills, which are already very good by the way? 😊
I could perhaps just offer one thing per comment. Let me know. 😊
Yes, for sure that's interesting! what the thing? )
Nothing specific @whitehoune. I will just tell you on thing that could be better said each time you comment. So you can learn one new thing each comment. 😊
great idea!! That could be nice, useful(for me) and even fun(for both of us)... I suppose. )) And to make it even more fun, I will try not to use translater! :-) Deal!!!
So here is your first one:
"I will try not to use translater" should be "I will try not to use a translater". 😊
Hey @gillianpearce! Loved this vlog; as an aside, every time I see one of yours, I think, hmmmm, should I? And then it passes haha
Clearing out can be so difficult, but so freeing at the same time. After my 24 year marriage was over, I cleared out our big house, downsized, then cleared out again after Brian and I met. Together, we moved 3 different times, until our big move to Mexico...So listen sister, I get clearing out haha. Joking aside though, I also understand emotionally clearing out and it is much more difficult. Good for you for doing it, and it sounds like you were long past the emotions, but the clearing out kind of solidified that for you as well.
By the way, since I've being in the full swings of menopause, tears come to me all of the time, for apparently no reason whatsoever :)
Glad you loved this one @lynncoyle1. It's my favourite so far I think. I was ready to blub as I didn't seem to have control, that morning as to what would set it off but thankfully I didn't.
It wasn't so much the blubbing that I would have minded but the thought of that awful face I make when I'm trying not to that I was afraid of.
I'm liking how well this video has gone down. It is inspiring me to clear out more and it's so gratifying having people join this conversation with me.
Sounds like you're a bit of an expert at clearing out now. Until I moved here I never lived anywhere longer than three years so I didn't have to much stuff to carry around. But since moving here the years have gone by, two children have added to the emotional attachments and we have two huge garages, plus my attic that is my art studio.
I'm chomping at the bit to get rid of stuff though.
In answer to your question "hmmmm, should I?" it's an empahtic "yes"! 💙
Aw yes, the ugly crying face we are all blessed with haha
It seems the more space we have, the more space we manage to fill!!
And time will tell..I'm not yet ready...but one day I suppose I will be. Thanks for the encouragement though!
Yay! A comment on youtube! Soon you will get a fanbase there as well! And well done for doing the vlogs! I am rubbish at it 😏
They are actually easier for me than writing the equivalent post most times @rimicane. I hate the way I look but I just have to get over it. I am not keen when I do not have much to say, but I just have to get over that too and ignore the judgemental voice in my head.
As long as people are responding positively then who I am to judge and censor myself?
There can actually be a great relief to face your demons publically (the ones in your head) and find the the world doesn't stop and the sky doesn't fall.
It's a great way to get over ymyself! 😁
As someone who suffers from depression, it is certainly something that seems to come in cycles, causing a need to deal with and go through stuff again or find 'new' things to work through. Good job on cleansing and going through all of this in the process. What a great idea to journal/vlog each day!
Thanks @byn. I am happy to say I no longer suffer from depression but I still have low moods. The big difference nowadays is I recognise that if i just wait it out it will pass on it's own and that trying to work it out or make myself feel differently just added to the depression.
i am enjoying the vlogging. I don't make one every day but if I feel inspired to I will. Today I didn't feel I had anything to say, although there has been more going on this evening so, if it wasn't so late, I would make one now.
Thanks for joining the conversation. I appreciate it! 😍
Letting go can be the hardest thing to do, but BOY-OH BOY does it feel good!!! I often clear out my "junk" emotionally, and tangibly. I feel like a new woman after!
Agreed. Sadly I don't do it often enough @kimmiecfields but I am hoping I might be on a bit of a roll currently. 😊
This post is sponsored by @appreciator in collaboration with #steemitbloggers. Keep up the good work
Thank you very much for the upvote @appreciator. It is very much . . . well . . . appreciated! 😁
I don't think I'd have the heart to throw away something I had written, but then again, it must have been cathartic for sure! If you ever do decide to write again, I would love to read what the new you has to say, but then again, getting piece by piece through steemit works too :-D