Domestic Violence and Verbal Violence: The Way Forward

Hello steemians! Today, I will be discussing with you domestic violence and verbal violence. I am sure you are only familiar with the former and the latter seem strange. Yes, it is so because we tend to focus on effect and in most cases ignore the cause. This does not in any way suggest that every domestic violence can always be traced to verbal violence. However, a closer look at how these two violence affect our existence as human beings will reveal their impacts on human life.

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Domestic violence is a physical violence done to another human being. This violence occurs between two people living as couple. It is a violence that occurs in a home. Domestic violence can be carried out by man on woman, woman on man, man on man and woman on woman depending on the kind of marriage. This means the ‘menace’ is a respecter of no gender.

Verbal violence is the abusive or offensive utterances said on another fellow in marriage. It is a violence that is as powerful as that of domestic violence but it is always overlooked because it is regarded as mere utterances. This type of violence is often carried out by women. In most cases, they believe they have this ‘mouth power’ to free themselves from men or relegate the man’s spirit by way of calling him all sort of names.

Violence is violence irrespective of whether it is domestic or verbal. Human beings are beings with ego and their ego come to play when they feel their intelligence is being played upon.

On the idea of violence, like I said above, it is not a ‘man thing’. Domestic violence is carried out by both gender. You will be committing fallacy of Argumentum Ad Ignorantiam – appeal to ignorance, if you say because you are yet to see cases of women beating their husbands then no woman beats her husband. You will also be committing same fallacy if you say, you always see or hear cases of men beating their wives and therefore only men beat their wives.

Violence is a bad thing that every human can engage in irrespective of their gender. You can ask a lawyer friend to tell you about cases where men filed for divorce because their wives beat them. Shocking you think? No I don’t think so. It is highly fallacious to claim men are superior beings and as such they can overpower the women. There are many women out there that will handle and beat men hands down. 

'Verbal violence' as a phrase may be new to some of us but it is what many people do especially the women. Many African women engage in this act on a daily basis. A woman feels, ‘I will make sure i bring him down with my words’. 

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If you stay in Africa, Nigeria, Lagos, you would have heard things like: Don’t exchange words with woman, you can’t win a woman in words battle, are you not a man, be a man and stop talking. All these suggest that the women have strength in their tongues and should be allowed to use it. Little do they know these words hurt the men more than raising a finger. People quickly tell the man it is okay and leave the woman alone to continue abusing the man verbally.

If you are also familiar with the housing settings here, you would have heard of face-me-i-slap-you houses! These houses are themselves comedy houses! A woman will lockup her husband, abuse and insults him at will. If the man says a word, the next thing you hear is: You will kill me today! And if neighbors try to come in, the next thing you will hear is: he has killed me ooooo!!! Then you wonder who is killing who? The man that is locked up and abused verbally or the ones expressing herself by insulting the man at will?

What am I driving at? My point is, it is high time we pay more attention to verbal violence. The harm it does to human is often greater that domestic violence. There should be more sensitization on telling women how their words hurt more than anything. 

I also believe if this verbal violence is addressed properly, it will reduce the number of domestic violence done to woman by man. No violence should be condoned and verbal violence should be frowned at by all human beings and even the women.

I do not expect everybody to agree with the above but look at all violence as evil. They must be stopped whether domestic or verbal. Do not focus on domestic violence as a woman because you think men are mostly guilty of it. Focus on verbal violence and see how you can stop this problem  which is presently not giving the right attention its needed.

Thanks for reading. Your boy @smyle the philosopher.