Laughing my ass off big time. Some of my favorite quotes, jokes that I have created over my life time plus others.Slap that ass! #1
)Over a life time I have found certain things absolutely hilarious.
Either quotes that I have made up or seen and I would like to share them with you. 10 truly funny things!
10. A one armed man hanging off a cliff will always have itchy balls!
9. When peeing outdoors. Do not piss into a strong head wind!
8. When asking a woman in a bar, "Have you been to India?" and she replies No! Then you reply with "Would you mind bending over while I go in de yah"!
One of three things is likely to happen 99.9999999999999999% of the time:
*You get punched in the face so hard that your eyeballs end up in the back of your head,
* You get bitched slapped like the bitch that you really are,
* You get kneed in the balls and your testicles dribble out the sides of your mouth.
Surprisingly this pick up line has worked provided you are prepared to accept a 98% failure rate! Best when used with an Australian accent!
7. There is only one thing that will always give you the greatest sense of relief and a smile on your face nearly 100% of the time?
* Making it just in time to the toilet bowl after desperately holding on as you made your way through the crowded shopping mall.
6. There is only one thing that will not give you the greatest sense of relief and will never leave a smile on your face 100% of the time?
* Not making it in time to the toilet bowl after desperately holding on as you made your way through the crowded shopping mall!
5. Not wearing a shirt while cooking with oils is a sure fire way of alerting the world of your true IQ or your lack of brain matter.
4. Have you heard of a backwards donkey?
*Haw Hee!
3. If your wife or girlfriend has been blissfully happy
over the last week. Sit down and make a list of all the wrong things that you did that week. If you want to remain in a happy relationship. Follow that list diligently!
2. Bananas in Pyjamas.
Did you know that there was an earlier Banana? His name was B4!
1. I have never hit a woman in all my life. 100 % TRUE! Does slapping my partners ass during lovemaking count?
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Images sourced from free images, google images, pixabay and fotojet.
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Check out part 2 here :https://steemit.com/life/@skytronia/laughing-my-f-king-ass-off-big-time-2
Nice quotes
Thank you so very much!
It's a great person I like it and I also see this Parsons all video it's very punny thanks for sharing
Thanks for reading my post.
funny poste @skytronia
Thank you very much! Just light humor.
Great post can't stop laughing that's why I'm glad I joined steemit to see and read good post without the rat race it's been great scince I've been here and we can make money at the same time. it just don't get any better and with more choice's soon to be placed on the platform like dtube, porn streeming. Just to name a couple steemit's gonna get pretty fast.and they also have a crypto coin that is used with in the block chain. It's so many ways to make money here I hope you enjoy yourself and keep'em coming post post post steemit thanks.👌👍👏😂
How true, couldn't get any better. Get to share a laugh and Steemit will only get better and bigger. Glad you enjoyed my post. I''l be making daily quotes/jokes from this point going forward.Best part is that you don't get censored to a great degree. Hope I can make you laugh even more with my future post, as long as I can make you laugh then my job is done.
Your posts are amazing
Thank you so very much. Hoped you enjoyed it?
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