I don't know

Why is all this so? Why?
What was I hoping for then?
I thought, when,
With you as if in dream...
I don't know...
Void, quiet, sadness,
Unfortunately, unbearable pain, suffering
Sorrow, grief and sorrow,
It was called...
I don't know...
Not hear, not understand,
Not see, not feel,
I don't want to think,
But so endlessly...
I don't know...
Forget, with memory wipe,
I'm getting used to it.,
You won't be in the memories
And if I can?
I do not know...