You can use rapeseedoil for frying, no problem, top chef Virgilio Martinez uses it too. It took me a while too to find kaffir lime leaves, was surprised when i finally saw it in the exotic department of my main supermarket, they have the grapeseed oil too, the difference is just in the "g" anyways :)

You can't compare kaffir lime leaves to bay leaves, they have a very strong lemon flavor.
Now I only need to find asam pepper which I search for for ages needing it for a specific dish.

White miso is still fermented soy beans but with more rice, the color is light beige and it tastes slightly sweet.