Not a Chance in Hell

In my role as devilishly handsome #hoboheretic advocate, I queried the counter staff at Sister Mary's this morning about the consequences it could have on the soul of one whose belief system forbade any form of gambling to have to weigh risking eternal damnation in Hell to participate in a lottery system in order to 'take a chance' on getting a shower. The Devil lives on all six sides of those dice. Such religious fundamentalism is quite common in some areas. I could see the entire staff take on the quizzical face of those you know are in 'processing' mode. In order to keep them from getting trapped in one of those logical endless loops known to blow the head off runaway robots, I injected that the question way hypothetical, but still of a serious enough concern (given the actual number on anti-gambling religious nutjobs) they might want to kick around an alternative system. It's not often that I get to express myself in the silly sanctimony of a #woke fundamentalist Christian trying to keep their ass out of a title XiX (or whatever number applies here) lawsuit.

At the end of it all, one of the staff behind the counter with the proper leadership skills to handle such errata smiled at me and said, Put it in the suggestion box. I winked at her as she pointed to the actual box mounted over on the wall inside the front door. In the meantime, I am forced to consider, because of my woke-ass nature and sensitivity to psychologically traumatized Christian nutjobs how to protect them from risking their souls on a gamble for a shower, or avoiding a shower altogether and falling into an unholy conundrum of Cleanliness and Godliness that will eventually leave a very large ring around the tub if they ever get lucky enough to bath again.

Here's an idea. How about first come, first served? Open up an hour earlier. Force these folks to get off their ass a little earlier. Early bird catches the worm. It's what my mama raised me with.

#hoboheretic Enjoy.