My growing up has not been "difficult". I had everything I wanted and I never lacked even for just a second. I got all I ever wanted that some of my friends think I am rich. All I have is an exceptional caring mother, even when she has a rag, out of that rag, she would make for me a coat of many colors.

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So all I worried about was little pimple popping up and yea my heart and it's wounds... With this, I can equate myself with even a homeless child that sleeps outside under the cold air.

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I would start the story about my past from the time from when I finished college and that was just about three months before I joined steemit in August. Then, I realized the picture I painted above didn't suit me anymore.

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That was when my life began to sting. I suddenly got attacked with a lot of questions from life. This was a period when I desperately wanted to know who I was and what I wanted to become especially how to go about it. I think I was in a rush for the future to reveal itself.

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I suddenly disgusted being dependent and I wanted to start to carry out my plans. It was also during this period that I got so sick about the future.

I had problems about what to even study for my master's degree. I knew it couldn't be Literature, since I fell out of love with Literature just before I graduated. I thought about Mass communication? Dramatic art? As much as I considered this career, they didn't seem to put my mind at rest and it just felt like going for those courses would be a step backward because I have a deep passion for acting and I want to become an actress.

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Do I really need a master's degree to pursue this dream or just undergo few months training on acting and screenwriting? This kept me up for nights. Which one should come up first?

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Now, I wasn't channeling this feelings anywhere. It was just bottled up. I had nothing to keep me busy.

During this period I fell very sick. It wasn't a new thing as I have been very sickly especially during my college years.

Due to my health, since I couldn't do anything too strenuous and at that time, I wasn't fit for anything stressful. So, I couldn't even teach like I had in mind.

So, I was at home doing nothing but thinking and thinking.

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They say an Idle man's mind is a devil workshop. Negativities sometimes only come when you let it. Also, sometimes you are who you say you are.

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It was during this few period before I joined steemit that I had a serious heartbreak of my life. The third world war played itself in my life.

For some reasons, I just kept falling into wrong hands.

(Well, eventually I have realized that love is not enough to go with someone.)

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The relationship was one I should never have entered if only I was thinking right. Well, I would spare you the ugly details.
I lost my sleep and my appetite. I felt haunted by everything.

Now, I would love to say a very big thank you to @destinysaid . He helped me alot during this phase. He became a pillar that I leaned on.

@destiny said suggested that it's possible I am giving in into depression willingly. I should try out new things and not just stay indoors.

Then unluckily, I met a friend who works with fyverr. I didn't have a direct access to fyverr, so the guy sent me all the details the owner wanted. I would write but we would split the money.

The first work I wrote was about four thousand words. The owner accepted it but my friend refused to pay me after being patient for a while, I asked him for my money then he said he would send me an airtime of #1000 (What!)

I refused the offer.

A week after he came again. He apologized and this time he said he has a job of 80, 000 words. He promised to add the money for the last work I did.

Well, I did it. It was so tasking. I fell sick over and over. I couldn't get to 80k words. The story ended at about 76,000 words.

Finally, I felt I could eat the fruit of the labour.

Three days later, the guy sent a text that the writer declined the work. (What!)
Well, that was the text that made me remember Steemit, since Ehiboss told me about it in April but It didn't interest me as it sounded too complicated then.

Luckily, this was the time when @ehiboss and @ogoowinner started the genesisproject.

I started with a determined mind this time around and I made my introductory post. I was warmly received by fellows steemians and some sent me tips.

When I joined steemit, the first thing I noticed was I became busy like a bee.
I began to break the chains around me.
Of a truth, I had no time to feel sad or ruminate on ugly experiences.

I focused on making sure that I write post that readers would like. I didn't want to be ever caught with a post that didn't meet up to standard.

Steemit started to bring out beautiful things in me. I started to write motivational articles on visions, depression and love. This way I found answers to all that bothered my mind.
Wow! So I have had the answers all the while.

Which explains why in untalented 1.0 I described myself as "The voice you hear in your head" and I am also the voice I hear in my head.

As at when I wrote the post, I knew something had changed about me.

You never know until you try.

Alot of people do not act as they preach. @gbenga made a post on this some few weeks ago but as for me I really tried to make a difference, I listened to the words I preached on steemit.

Alot of works from writers here on steemit has also shaped me. So many times I log into steemit, I just find answers to whatever it was that bothered me.

Well, I am not saying my problems are over but I can gladly say I have realized that I wield the power towards whatever situation.

Alot of writers here have written works on human's inner power, a reason to forget the past, I have also written on this topic. All I do is listen and obey.

Steemit has become a good companion to me. Look into my head right now, steemit is there. When I want to eat, steemit is there. The first and last thing on my mind before going to bed is steemit!

How can you then convince me that I am not romantically attracted to steemit. (on a very light note) Steemit is Bae. It's one of the best companion.

Everytime, I want to give my readers something meaningful and I want to enjoy and learn from their posts!

What gives me great Joy is going through my blog and reading all I have written.

In here too, I have found a family: The genesisproject members. They are a beautiful set of people with loving hearts and creative minds.

Steemit has also increased my level of interaction with others and I look forward to making my first withdrawal here on steemit by the end of the month.

Thanks to the Nigerian curators.

Thanks to creative minds like @surpassinggoogle for this golden opportunity. Questions like this gives one the opportunity to look inward, to look back to the past and spring forth as a new creature; a renewal, a rebirth.

This story wouldn't be complete if I don't make a shout out to @infovore.

Thank you!

My pen bleeds