Untalented #1 Who am I: Maskara "Mask"

         

       Lahat tayo ay nagsusuot ng maskara. Aminin mo man o hindi yan ang totoo. Kung ayaw mo maniwala buksan lamang ang inyong facebook at magmasid. Parang lahat ng tao doon masasaya’t nakangiti. Ang gaganda ng mga kagamitan, nakakapunta sa iba’t ibang lugar at ang sasarap ng mga pagkain na natitikman.  Base sa mga post mukang ayos lang lahat.  lahat ng tao ay napakababait.  Ang saya, ang ganda, walang problema, ,maayos, Perfecto.  

(All of us wears mask. Deny it or not this is true . Just take a look at your facebook and observe. It seems that everyone one there is smiling. They share the pictures of their new stuffs, beautiful places they travel and great tasting food they eat. Their posts are brimming with positivity. All is good with all those rosy pictures. Happy, beautiful, no worries, just perfect.)

         Pero matanong ko lang totoo ba lahat ng iyan? Bakit lagi na lamang nangangailangang ipakita ang masasaya, magaganda, magagaling, masasarap. Ang mga perfecto. Ano ba ang paki ng ibang tao? At hingit sa lahat ano ba paki ko sa tingin nila? Sa totoo lang may paki tayo. Dahil malahaga sa atin kung ano ang tingin ng ibang tao. Huwag kang “Denial King or Queen”  aminin. Dahil dito nagsusuot tayo ng iba’t ibang maskara upang maki-bagay at magpa-“impress.” 

(This begs me the question -why should we always show that we are happy, what is beautiful, what is amazing, what is great tasting, that is perfect. Do other people care and more importantly do I care? It sad but in reality we DO care. And because of this we hide behind our mask to confirm and to impress others)

         Oo aaminin ko ako din ay ang may salarin at hindi lang iisang maskara ang sinusuot ko madami sila. Bakit? kasi ayaw kong mapahiya, ayaw kong ma “reject,” ayaw kong hind imaging “in,” gusto ko i-respesto ako, gusto ko maraming nagmamahal sa akin, yung tipong feel na feel mo na special ka kasi galing na galing sayo ang ibang tao. Gusto ko ipakita na okay lang ako, na “I am in control.” Gusto ko ipakita na kaya ko pa kahit hirap na hirap na ako. 

(I will not deny it. I am too is guilty of this and I don't use only one mask I have several them. Why is that? Because I don't want to lose face, get rejected or get shunned. I want to get respected, i want everyone to love me, to make me feel special. I don't also want them to see me weak, I want to show them that I am in control. I want to show them that  I am strong even though i am already struggling .)

         Base sa isang article na aking  nabasa noon mayroon daw iba't ibang klaseng maskara ang tao. Totoo ang sinabi niya. Meron ngang iba't ibang klaseng maskara ang tao. Nakakahiya man aminin pero ginagamit ko ang mga ito lalo na "online." Iisa iisahin ko sila para mas lalo natin maintindihan pagkatapos ipapahayag ko ang pwede nating gawin sa mga ito.  

(Based on an article that i've read a few months back we have different mask. What was said in the article is true. at least for me it is. We do wear many mask. I feel ashame in admitting it but I always use them almost all the time online. I will discuss them one by one and will tell you later what i think we should do with them.)

         Ang una kong maskara ay ang “Masayang maskara.” Malimit ang pinapakita ko sa facebook na picture ay mga picture na lagi akong nakaingti at mukhang masaya. Tulad na lamang sa nakararami kong kaigiban sa Facebook. Masasaya ang kanilang mga larawan so dapat sakin masaya kahit minsan hindi. Tama? Mali. Kinamusta ko ang isa kong kakilala sa facebook ukol sa relasyon nila ng nobyo niya ng ilang taon. Ang “sweet-sweet” ng pictures nila at tinanong ko kung kailan ang kasal. Nagulat ako ng sabihing wala na sila ng ilang buwan dahil may nahanap na bago ang kanyang nobyo. Kasunod nito ang isang mahabang salaysay kung paano sila nag “break-up.” Nakakalungkot diba? Pero kung titignan mo yung facebook account niya mukhang okay pa sila ng boyfriend niya. Hindi niya inaalis ang mga pictures kasi ayaw niya daw mapagusapan sila sa facebook ng mga kaibigan namin. Hindi ko siya masisi dahil kung sa akin man mangyari yun ayaw ko din ng ganun.  

(First, the "Happy Mask." Almost all the time I always show pictures of  myself smiling in facebook to show that I am always happy.  Like many of my friends in there, they seem to be happy all the time. Wrong. I asked one my friend in facebook  how is it going with her long time partner and ask when is the wedding. They seemed to be the perfect couple and surely they will end up marrying each other. It came a surprise when she confided that they are already not together and she just kept their Facebook running so that they will not be the talk of others. I can't blame here it I were in the same position I would have done the same.)

         Ang panglawang maskara ko ay ang “Malakas na maskara.” Kaya ko to! Lagi ko sinasabi sa sarili ko kahit hirap na hirap na ako at gust ko ng sumuko. Hindi lang naman ako ang ganito. Kung pag mamasdam ang ibang tao akala mo okay lang sila. Waring walang mga suliranin sa buhay at kung meron man mukhang kayang kaya lang nila ito dalhin. Ngunit dumadating sa ating buhay ang pagkakataon na parang lubhang napakahirap ng problema  at mukhang bibigay na tayo. Subalit hindi parin tayo natitinag at pinapakita parin natin sa lahat ay maayos.  Malakas ako yan ang lagi kung bigkas sa sarili kahit "knocked out" na ako sa boxing. 

(Second, the " Strong Mask." I always say to myself that I can always do it. I always thought of it as a virtue. Even if  I wanted to give up already. I am not alone. There are a lot of them like me. You may look at them and say they have it all together even though everything is already crumbling apart. There are some points in our life that our problems is too big to handle and we can't find in ourselves to fight on. But in the exterior we shows others everything is just fine.)

         Ang pangatlong maskara ko ay ang “matalinong maskara.” Wala naman siguro gusto sa atin matawag na hangal o walang alam. Sympre lagi gusto natin ang tingin sa atin matalino at magaling. Yung tipong “Feeling superior” kasi you “know better.” Dahil sa maskarang ito nagiging maiingitin ako, mapang lait ng ibang tao at makasarili. Minsan ibinababa ko na ang iba para lamang masabing ako ang nakakaaangat. Nagiging irrational ako at nagtatanong ako kung bakit "mas madami silang upvotes? o bakit masmataas scores niya? Superior ako, superior ang gawa ko. Mas may alam ako diyan.  Sa punto na minsan iniisip ko na mga hangal yung mga nag upvote, yung mga hurado. Subalit sa oras na mahimasmasan na ako at natatandaan ko ang ginagawa ko, imbis na maging proud ako sa sarili kabaliktaran ang nangyayari, nahihiya ako. Ano na lamang ang tingin ng iba sa akin? Deny ko pa na wala akong pake pero "deep inside, bothered" ako.

(Third mask, " Know it all Mask."  I think everyone would agree that no one wants to be called stupid or a fool. We would like others to think of us as someone who is smart or brilliant. This gives us the feeling of superiority in the sense that we know better. With this mask on I become envious of other peoples achievement instead of being happy for him or her. I become bitter and selfish. I become irrational and ask "why do they have more upvotes?"  Their work is trash compared to mine. Mine deserves more upvotes. To the point of questioning the competence and judgement of those who votes. Thinking that they don't have taste, they don't know what they are doing and they are too snobbish. Later after all is said and done I realized my actions and instead of being proud I feel ashamed. Sometimes I tell myself I don't care and I am not bothered but deep inside I am.)

       Ang pangapat na maskara ko ay ang “Mabait na maskara.” Sa lahat ng maskara malamang ito ang maskara na lagi ko sinusuot. Syempre gusto ko lagi mabait sa akin ang mga taong nakakakasama ko kaya hangga’t sa makakaya ko mabait din ako sa kanila. Lagi nga nating naririnig yung kasabihan na "tratuhin natin ang ibang tao kung paano gusto natin tratuhin tayo." Kung suot ko ito maskara na to nahihirapan akong tumanggi sa bang tao. Oo na lang ako palagi, ayaw kong may makaaway at iwas na lang lagi  sa gulo. Ang problema dito, iniisip ng ibang tao na ang bagiging mabait ko ay isang kahinaan at inaabuso nila ito. Alam kasi nila na hindi ako maka hindi. Ito ay nagduduot ng lubhang kalungkutan dahil hindi nila naibabalik ang kabaitan na pinakita ko sa kanila. 

     (Fourth mask, The "Kind Mask." Of all the mask that I wear this is the most that I wear.  I am always kind to others since I want them to be kind at me. When I was young my elders always reminds me to be always be kind to others. When I am wearing this mask I always find it hard to say no to others. I always say yes, to avoid hurt feelings, conflict and disappointing others. However  wearing this mask makes you prone to abuse as they view kindness as a weakness that they can exploit. This causes great grief to me since instead of receiving kindness in return i get abused.) 

        Ang pang limang maskara ay ang “Masungit na maskara.” Minsan nasusungit ako sa boyfriend ko lalo na kung hindi ako nasusunod sa gusto ko. Nagiging “Drama queen ako” kahit hindi naman kinakailangan at hindi na nagiging tuwid ang aking pagiisip. Hindi naman ako masungit sa personal pero minsan trip ko lang magsungit lalo na kung alam ko na kaya kong gawin dahil nasa position ako, may resbak ako o alam ko hindi papalag ang kausap ko. Nakikita ko din yan sa ibang tao. Nagiging “bully,” sila ng hindi nila nalalaman o baka naman sinsadya para manakot o ipilit na respetuhin sila. Ang nakakagulat dito hindi naman sila ganyan sa tunay na buhay. Masasabi siklab lamang ito ng dibdib ngunit hindi mo na maibabalik ang nasabi na.  

(The last mask is the " Angry Mask." I get mad with my boyfriend if he does not follow what I say or give what I need. I become a "drama queen" even though it is not needed. I am not typically like this, only when I am wearing my angry mask.  I usually do this when I know I can get away with it, I am in the position to do so or I know that no one will stand up against me. I see this in other people as well. They unwittingly become bullies. Or they do it on purpose to intimidate to command respect from others.  I am surprised by some because they are not really like that. We can just excuse it and say it was just a spur of the moment thing but what has been done is done and we can not take it back.) 

         Yan ang mga iba't ibang maskara na aking ginagamit. Hindi ko ito pinagmamalaki. Inaamin ko  na malimit nagsusuot ako ng iba’t ibang maskara. Ayaw kong isipin na nagbabalatkayo ako. Parang natural na kasi sa atin na nagbabago ang ugali natin depende sa sitwasyon. Pero paano ba maging totoo? Wala akong sagot diyan. Mga tanong lang. Bakit ba nanganailangan mag suot ng maskara. Mahirap ba na  umamin na hindi laging “okay ang sitwastion?” . Pangit ba na  malaman na ikaw ay may kahinaan din? Nakakahiya ba na sabihin na hindi mo alam lahat sa mundo? Kailangan ba na lagi masaya ang iba liban sayo? Bakit ba galit ako sa mundo mas masarap magmahal at mahalin di po ba?  

(Those are the different mask that I wear. I am not proud of it. I confess that I wear these masks time and time again. I don't want you to think that I am being  deceitful. I think it is human nature that we change our persona depending on the situation. How can we be real then? I have no answer to that only questions. Why do we need to wear these mask? Is it hard to to tell others the real score and not everything is okay all the time? Is it hard to accept that we are sometimes weak? Is it shameful if you don't know everything in this world? Is it okay that you try to make everyone happy except yourself? And I why do I spread hate and negativity around isn't loving and being loved better?)

          Lahat tayo ay tao lamang. Hindi tayo perfecto. Hindi tayo Diyos. May oras na kailangan nating ipakita ang “imperfection” natin at tanggapin ang tunay nating katauhan. At pag natanggap na natin ang ating sarili makikita din ng ibang tao yun at masasabi nilang mas kapanipaniwala ang katauhan mo. Huwag itago ang kahinaan, ibunyag at humingi ng tulong. Magugulat ka sa mga taong tutulong sayo. Hindi kailangan ikaw lagi ang malakas. Pabayaan mo na akayin ka ng mga mahal mo at ipahiram nila ang kanilang lakas. Lahat ng tao ay may kanya kanyang talino. Hindi nanggaling sa iisang tao ang karunungan sa mundo. Ito ay mga pinagsamasamang ideya, galing at kakayahan na pinagbuklod ng panahon at naisalin sa tradisyon, wika at aklat. Mabuti maging mabait huwag lamang sobrahan dahil ikaw din ang kawawa. Matuto  na i-balanse ang kabaitan upang hindi magdulot ng pighati sa sarili. Mahalin ang sarili upang matutong magmahal sa iba. Kung anuman rason sa poot  sa ating puso subukan natin itong kalimutan. Hindi natin kailangan i-project sa iba ang negativity natin dahil ini-stress lang natin ang ating sarili at ng ibang tao na nakapaligid sa atin. Naniniwala ako na lahat tayo ay natural na mabait at magaling. Ipakita mo ang liwanag na ito para  makita ng ibang tao at ng buong mundo ang tunay na ikaw.

(We are only human. We are not perfect. We are not God. There are times that we need to show our imperfections and accept our truest self.  When we accept who we truly are then others will begin to notice and begin to accept with all the imperfections who  you really are. Don't hide your weakness, show it and ask for help. You'll be surprised by the number of people who will help. You don't need to be the strong one all the time. Let those who loves you carry you and lend their strength to you. Every one has their own kind of intelligence. Knowledge of man did not originate from one single person. It came from different ideas,  skills and know how of humanity fused and forged by time and instilled in our traditions, languages and written in our books. It is always good to be kind to others but not to the expense of being kind to yourself. Find the "golden mean" learn how love oneself to be able to truly love others. Try to forget what ever hate you feel in your heart. Don't project your hate to others and in effect spreading negativity, you are only stressing yourself and the people around you. I do believe that we are all naturally good and brilliant. Let this shine through and show others and the whole world who we really are.)

If you like what you have read please feel free to upvote, comment, resteemed and follow.

Salamat sa guidance ng mga mentors ko sa steemit: @mers @otom @antonette @iwrite @purpledaisy57 @bobiecayao

My inspiration:
Coinfinity-Raiblock Community Group, TL, @surpassinggoogle

Photo Credit:

https://mibou.deviantart.com/art/A-smile-as-a-mask-177078975