How do Children Really Learn?

I was inspired by a post I read today by @slhomestead about passing along an ethic of environmental stewardship to children without burdening them with guilt or that horrible idea that somehow humans are a plague upon the planet. She has lots of brilliant ideas on how to do this, but I want to focus on one, which is to simply get kids out in nature. Hiking, camping, adventuring, scavenger hunts. Kids who experience and play in nature will have sweet memories and develop an ethic of stewardship.

I was thinking of how important and simple it really is and how we get our ego all up in a twist needing to over explain everything and tell kids all the details and our whole personal interpretation and a list of things they must do to make a difference. Honestly, we just like to prove to everyone how very smart we are. If we leave them alone, they will quietly observe and draw their own conclusions. We miss their desire to learn because of our incessant ego-driven need to constantly teach. They will ask questions. It's ok to share, but this need to download all the information in the universe to someone who didn't ask for it and may not be ready for all that is probably not really helpful.

So, I am contemplating all this and realizing maybe I need to step away from the computer for a bit when my little Lulu, who is 4, came to ask me to read a book to her. And I thought about how this same concept applies with almost all learning for children, across the board. They only need to immerse in, play, and observe something to learn it. They don't need to be "taught." Me sitting and reading to her is the most useful tool and best predictor of both reading skills and love for reading. I don't have to sit and force flash cards and phonics or whatever. I read to her often. She asks me how to spell things. She asks me to play with her abc cards. She sometimes looks at words and tries to sound them out. I have zero doubt she will learn to read.

My 15 yo, @sophieharling, is a brilliant visual artist. I taught her none of that, mostly because I can't draw a stick figure right. She watched others. She practiced. She read. She watched videos. When a child wants to learn something, just try and stop them. You can't. Sophie didn't read until she was 9, but she caught up to other kids within a year or two and now reads at college level. Sophie is one who is always going to do what she is going to do when she is damn good and ready and not before then.

One of Sophie's recent paintings. You can find her @sophieharling. She is currently on an avengers movie binge but will be back soon

This pressure we feel as parents to prepare our children is totally rational. It's biological, really. Deep in your DNA you know it is your responsibility to ensure your offspring will survive in this world. And let's face it, this world is a bit of a train wreck at the moment, so no wonder we are freaking out trying to make sure they have a host of different skills and knowledge.

There are a couple different things that are important to note here, though. The world is changing insanely fast. We can't possibly have any clue what they will need to know. We can't know what problems they will face. Our most brilliant scientists openly admit that they have no clue what's about to happen with climate change because we are in uncharted territory. The second thing is that no one really learns best with the shoveling method. We would do well to really pay more attention to how children learn. If there is one single thing that could revolutionize education in a good direction, it would be that.

So what I think is important to take from all that is children need to learn how to learn and how to adapt and adjust and change directions and problem solve. They need to know who they are and what they are passionate about. They need to know how to communicate. Those are good skills for an uncertain world. And since they really need to know how to learn, it's best we don't spend years of their lives trying to teach them in totally ineffective ways while simultaneously squashing their natural desire.

It's useful to really think about how children actually learn. A lot of people think this is some kind of deep mystery and that teachers are gifted some kind of ancient secret knowledge to be able to teach kids. I can't tell you how many people have told me they could never homeschool because they are not smart enough. That is crazy talk. It's not that complicated. How does a baby learn to talk? Do you ever think about how incredibly complicated language is? Making sounds into patterns that carry meaning, not just for naming objects but also abstract thought. You will never learn anything in your life more complicated than language. The baby watches the big people often. She watches people's mouths and listens to the sounds. She mimics the sounds and plays around with her voice and mouth until she magically figures out how to form those sounds into one of the words that the parents say often. Observe, play, practice. That's it.

I truly believe a child can learn anything just like that. They don't need a classroom or a book or flash cards or a lecture in the forest. They need to play and watch. They need to explore. They need to check out and daydream. If they are exposed to people who read and are read to, they will pick it up. I never did anything formal as far as teaching my oldest to read. One day we were driving down the road, and he looked at the sign and said, "Exxon!" I know. What a horrible first word to read. The only motivator I ever gave was to tell him that I wouldn't read Batman comics because I don't like comic book reading. I've known a host of kids who learned to read because they needed to read to play their video games correctly. Mom isn't going to come in for every story screen. Eventually something inspires them. Especially if you aren't engaging in a power struggle. Once they learn to read, they can learn anything that piques their interest. We need only answer questions, offer support for their passions, and allow them to explore the world.

In the meantime, they have played and observed, developing their imaginations, undoubtedly a useful skill in this messed up world. They have created new synaptic patterns. They have learned to watch and create. They have learned the rhythms and patterns of nature and how to get along with other children. They have learned to communicate and listen to themselves, others, and the earth. Along the way they will see things they want to learn more about, and they will ask. Shoveling unasked-for information down in the hopes that some tiny bit sticks and/or something actually interests them is both ineffective and inefficient. More importantly it is unnecessary.

Children are far more intelligent than we give them credit for. They understand what is going on around them. Energetically, they are very tuned in and can feel much more deeply than we can. They know they are a part of the earth. They instinctively want to protect it if they have spent any time in it at all. In time they will learn what the state of the planet currently is, and they will want to make a change. In time they will find their own passions and what they want to do to make the world a better place. In time, if they know how to learn and have our support, they will develop all the skills they need to follow that path. We just have to be patient.