Substantiating the Decisions we make as Parents - Living is Learning

Cesar loves playing with water, but doesn't yet have the entire context of where water comes from and all the different fa(u)cets 😂 involved to get water to come out of a tap. This can result in some very long conversations as to why we ask him to stop playing with water after x amount of time. Here, Gian is showing Cesar the pumps that are involved in pumping the water that was pumped from the borehole by the fields, to the water tank reservoirs closer to the houses. These pumps here then pump the water to the houses. While we do now have more water available, pumping the water to its end points requires a lot of electricity, which is quite costly - and if the pumps run for too long, they can burn out. Gian is busy explaining all of this to Cesar. I enjoy these moments thoroughly as I realise how little I am actually aware or know of all the processes that are involved with our basic necessities. With having this understanding, it is a lot easier to relay to Cesar how we make certain decisions and the considerations that went into them.

When we take the time to substantiate our decisions, we show our children that what we say or ask of them isn't based on 'make-belief'. It's not because 'I said so'. The more we explain and substantiate our actions, the more we nurture a relationship of trust and respect as our children not only learn about how we look at things, but also learn that our decisions are not personal to them OR us. We work with the mechanisms of reality to make effective decisions. Our No's are not No's out to limit or punish them, and neither are our Yes' a Yes to please or placate them. In the long run, this type of relationship and communication allows our children to have a healthy relationship with rejection ( = no) and approval ( = yes), where they learn to look at situations holistically, and in doing so sidestep the pitfalls of taking things personally.