I'm going to start this story in 2001, the year that I surrendered and decided to let go of my harmful behaviours and learn a new, healthy way of living my life.  My recovery from depression and suicide attempts changed my life.  It allowed me to reconcile my relationship with my wife after three years of separation and near divorce.  It was a lot of hard, gut wrenching, soul searching, painful, healthy work, but I did it and I now speak openly about it every chance I get.  

It is this experience that is the foundation for all my work now.  Even after 16 years, I will continue to share my story so that we can explore the violence in our lives and find a new way of living.  That journey also resulted in my wife and I realizing that even our relationship with the state is a violent and coercive one.  Because we worked so hard to have healthy, peaceful, loving relationships in our lives, we decided to say 'no' to that relationship as well.  It was difficult as the state does not like it when people say no to them.  

But we persevered and by building earthships, greenhouses, gardens, and returning to the land, we found a way to support ourselves and disconnect our dependency on the state.  In 2008 I met a special man by the name of Ben Stewart.  He attended my very first workshop in Toronto and we have been friends ever since.  At the time he had just released his film Esoteric Agenda, which you can find on gaia.com or copies are still on Youtube.  After that event he released Kymatica which I like to think I had some influence with that film.  But in 2009 he approached me about making a film about my life.  I was honoured and excited at first.  Ben came and did some filming on the land we steward and afterwards I got scared and said no.  It took almost a year for me to come around to the idea and I then approached him and said yes.  In October 2011, UNGRIP was released on Youtube!  Ben and I have been friends for nearly 10 years and I love the man very much.  The work we did changed my life and I am grateful for the experience.  

A few years later, I got a Facebook message from a fellow that went by the name Sweetgrass Sitting Bear.  He wanted to come see me after seeing UNGRIP and I was open to the opportunity to build a relationship with him.  We found an instant connection as he loved our life style so much he invited others that he knew to come meet us and see our way of life.  Living off grid, away from the state, growing our own food and building a relationship with Mother Earth is what really resonated with him.  I've had some very important, influential and famous people visit me here over the years as a result of my relationship with Sweetgrass Sitting Bear or as his colonial masters call him, Benjamin Badger.  

I know for a fact that Sweetgrass Sitting Bear feels that our life style shows respect to Treaty 6, to Mother Earth and our relationship with the nêhiyawin of Treaty 6.  Without realizing it, our efforts to live off the land and be free, had a huge impact on him and many others.  By walking the path my wife and I inadvertently demonstrated respect to them and their interpretation of Treaty 6.  For them, we were all supposed to be at peace with one another and share the land without interfering with each other.  

Our dedication to peace, freedom and independence caught their eye and two years ago I was invited to my very first ceremony.  I had no idea what to expect and I went out of faith and trust of my new spiritual brother.  I brought seeds and tobacco as a gift, Sweetgrass also gave me a print to give to the elder as well.  I will not share the ceremony itself as it is sacred.  But at the end of the ceremony I was called up and given a white eagle feather with the name of White Walking Feather.  

I was deeply moved to tears.  I did not expect to be given the feather at all as it was a total surprise.  I was told that I am doing great work and to keep it up.  I was also told that night that 'I AM the land'.  Ever since I explored my spirituality, I wanted a spirit name.  However, I absolutely refused to ask for one.  I wanted it to be given.  That night I received more than I could have possibly imagined.  The implications are still being felt years later.

For me, I got recognized for our years and years of work, dedication to peace, freedom and independence.  We were recognized for our abilities and commitment to Mother Earth, healthy living and our relationship with all life.  But I also think we were recognized for not seeing the color of skin, for respecting other people for their beliefs and customs.  My friend Sweetgrass Sitting Bear respects me and I have a deep respect for him.  We have overcome the bitter feelings that have plagued many for hundreds of years.  I've done similar work with others as well and as a result, I would estimate that 25% of my friends on Facebook are indigenous people.  They like the work that I AM doing and they follow my work with great interest.  

I AM a warrior now, a leader by example and that took me years of hard work to accept that.  I've had people approach me and I would refuse, feeling unworthy.  In many ways I still feel unworthy, but I have accepted that the life we live is an example for other people to at least contemplate if we want to heal and reconcile our relationships.  

I have Sweetgrass Sitting Bear to thank for that as he helped me grow a great deal as I'm sure I helped him.  I also met two wonderful people this past summer who came up from Mexico.  Fabian and Gabby also had a huge impact on me and really helped me to accept me for who I AM, especially as a leader.  Fabian gave me a special gift as well, which moved me to tears.  I was given two feathers, each representing the divine feminine and divine masculine.  The stick helps connect Mother Earth and Father Sky during ceremony.  

Being gifted a feather from an indigenous individual is like being given a gift from the highest ranking diplomat.  Now I've been recognized twice for the work that we do.  It is such a huge honour that I weep every time I think about these gifts that were given to me.  If we really want to reconcile our relationships with the ayisiniwak (people) of Turtle Island or other places around the world, we really do need to change our behaviour, life style and outlook on life.  

I've been honoured by indigenous leaders from the top and bottom of Turtle Island.  I think it is time now to all work together to change how we are living so that we can walk the path of reconciliation.  This is not a matter of them changing for us, but rather us changing for them.  We need to end the violence, genocide and colonial ways of life so that we can demonstrate our dedication to peace and freedom.  They will see this effort and reach out.  We must re-establish a level of trust so that they feel safe to reach out.  Otherwise, we risk conflict and further violence.  

What does White Walking Feather mean?

I did some digging on line to see what it all means.  I'm no expert on indigenous meanings, but loosely what I found is this.  

White

The color white means peace and happiness. White was also the color used to represent winter, the white tribes of Europe, north on the medicine wheel, air, the intellect and animals.  

Walking

Walking is a method of healing, protest and awareness which can also be tied into the non-violent, peaceful non-compliance strategies all the way back to Gandhi.

Feather

Feather means trust, honor, strength, wisdom, power, freedom.  Eagles have a special connection with the heavens since they fly so high. 

Translation

My dear friend and sister Ansley Simpson, an  anishinaabe (Ojibway) from Toronto helped me heal through several years of homeopathic treatments, but she also helped me come to terms with the name.  I love her dearly!  She told me that I am being asked to start healing the land, much like what we have done already on the land that we steward.  By traveling across this land, I can help to heal people and the land.  

So I dedicate this post to Ben, Ansley, Fabian, Gabby and especially Sweetgrass Sitting Bear for changing my life for ever and helping me reinforce and support the principles that I've worked on for over 16 years;  peace, freedom, prosperity, joy and love.  Thank you for your support, guidance, education, friendship and love.  I love you all very much.  May my blog help others do the same.  

May Spirit continue to move us all along this path so that we can lead by example with honour, integrity, friendship, peace and mutual respect.