Living Life with Integrity

During the Warrior Heart Retreat this past weekend, I heard the term 'integrity' used a LOT.  How do I live a life of uncorrupted virtue, sound moral principles, honesty and sincerity?  How can I live in integrity with everything that I do, not do or say?

I've been working on this very question for 17 years and I work very hard at living life with integrity.  While I make mistakes and get tempted now and again, my goal is to find a place where I can indeed live my life and influence others as they witness the integrity that I demonstrate on a daily bases.  

Carving in deer antler handle of the knife given me by Sweetgrass Sitting Bear, my dear friend.

It started with being honest with myself.  The lies and justifications had to go as I consciously worked on all aspects of my being.  Having the capacity to self check, to see if what others say is accurate or not, was a critical skill.  It also gave me the sight so that I could then determine whether it was my own shit or theirs!

If I'm not going to be honest with myself, then how in the world can I expect others to be honest with me as well?  I lied to myself for most of my life and it nearly destroyed me.  Living life with integrity is challenging but immensely rewarding.  Having the courage to confront myself on my own shit is the epitome of what life is about as I hold the space of exploring healthy relationships with myself and others.

Fear kept me from accomplishing that goal.  Fear kept me away from much of my own personal growth.  In 2005 I was invited to the Canadian National Taekwondo Championships in Richmond BC to be a referee.  While I had skills as a referee, I had never been to a national competition as an official before.  Olympic caliber athletes were there and their sporting careers are on the line.  I accepted the invitation but it scared the hell out of me.  Was I good enough?  Could I serve the competitors properly?  Could I be fair and balanced in my role?  What if I made a mistake?

Me refereeing at a local Taekwondo championship.

All these questions kept me on the side lines for the first day as all I had the courage to do was corner judge.  Corner judges are responsible for recording kicks or punches that would result in points going up on the board.  After the first day I decided that I had to confront my fear or I would never get past it.  I approached the ring manager and got my first chance to be in the ring as the center referee to officiate the competition.  I'm sure I was sweating more than they were.  But I confronted my fear and broke its grip on my heart and mind.  I ended up doing well and throughout the day I was the center referee for many matches.  When the day was done I realized that I had the time of my life. 

The amount of fun I had was astounding, I got to see world class athletes competing and I had the best seat in the house!  The experience was extremely enriching for my life and I will never forget it.  That same year I was invited to be a referee at the 2005 Jr. Nationals in Edmonton.  I went in with confidence and expecting to have a lot of fun.  I was head referee for one of the rings and all the other referees ended up voting me as the best official of the competition.  An honour like that does not come easy and I was floored by the expression of respect that I gained from the other black belts that were there.  

I knew that if I was going to be able to influence other people to contemplate a new relationship paradigm, I would need to use the same work ethic and level of integrity that I learned those many years ago.  I knew that I cannot just read a book and start teaching.  Instead I would have to experience life and share my experiences instead.  By walking the path we gain experience, wisdom and knowledge.  

Having the ability to do a "self check in" and do some critical thinking, balanced by my heart and spirit and is what brought me to realize what integrity is all about.  No more lies.  No more violence.  No more bull shit.  I've witnessed many people who wanted to walk this path and then got tempted to abandon their own integrity.  When that happened I lost all respect for them and I pray that they realize what they did and return to a life of integrity.  We see it all around and I pray for healing so that we find the courage to face our fears and walk that path few care the venture on.

Those that display The Virtue Circle banner have worked hard to walk that path.  Help them maintain uncorrupted virtue as they choose to walk a path of peace, freedom and love, grounded in sound moral principles, honesty and sincerity.  Together we can then live life with integrity and change the world by walking the path and peacefully confront those not on the path.  

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