Everything are Cycles

The last two weeks of my life have been bittersweet -I got the news that the project we’re working on isn’t going to be extended and that means that my contract expires today. I never particularly enjoyed this job, it was my first tech job after I graduated this spring and it felt like a bait-and-switch because I ended up in a glorified call center convincing unwilling people to volunteer for a state-run research project. It had been the highest paying, most soul-crushing position I’ve ever held and on one hand, I’m happy that it’s over but I’m also having issues realistically and confidently having faith that the chaotic multiverse will provide for me in the days to come.

Stupidly, my partner and I moved out of her mother’s basement where we were living a very affordable lifestyle, if not a little awkwardly because you can’t be a total freak while mom is watching Downton Abbey in the living room. We found a reasonably priced, beautiful, mid-century apartment in a desirable part of Baltimore -great nightlife within walking distance and it’s centrally located to anywhere outside the city you might want to go but now I’m unemployed with two months pay in the bank and that isn’t the most comforting feeling in the world.

This leads me back to the hunt, my ancestral genetic memories are pumping through my mind, brain and body raising my cortisol levels, my desires to indulge in the bad habits that my stupid body thinks will make this free fall more bearable. I’ve been trolling LinkedIn, Indeed, GlassDoor, Dice, and the rest of their ilk -in hopes of not only finding employment but finding it somewhere that won’t make me fantasize about economic collapse as a viable solution to a dreadful 40+ hours a week in cubicle hell. Wandering through a post-apocalyptic wasteland has always held a perverse place in my heart of hearts, completely fetishized and unrealistic as it obviously is. The silver lining here is that I’ve had two positive interviews this week and I’m crossing my fingers that both make offers at the same time so I can leverage them to my benefit.

Ever since I moved back to the east coast (2015ish) I’ve been trying to get Saint Expedite to work for me with very little success -but desperate times call for desperate measures- right? This time around it’s more like hitting up that person that “never quite became a lover, but, you know, maybe tonight’s the night?” I’ve heard such good things abou