#Ulog Day 6 : Feeling Guilty After Failing to Save My Patient's Life

Dear Steemians and Uloggers,

I just went out my morning shift from my Intensive Care Unit. I am resting on my bed, but my mind left in the Hospital. I could not release my patient's face whose I helped. Mrs. S aged 45 years, being hospitalized due to suffeting Acute Respiratory Failure (a condition in which the lung fail to breath normally). We've been caring her for 2 weeks. After her respiratory having assisted with ventilator, she was extubated yesterday. Her condition is stable and the haemodynamic is good. We are preparing to move her to the High Care Unit as she suddenly had a apnea (no breathing). We immediately did the ambulation for her. Minute after, suddenly the monitor showing asystole (the heart not beating), the resuscitation was perfomed. I was the one who in charge giving her manual compression on her chest. The resuscitation running well, but seem her body didn't response to the resuscitation anymore.

(due to our ethic and patient's privacy, I disguised both her body and face)

5 minutes after resuscitation, she had Return of Spontaneous Circulation (ROSC) with sinus bradycardia (low breathing rate). 5 minutes later, it was asystole again. We repeat the compression until second ROSC, her pulses back to sinus bardycardia again.

These resuscitation procedure back and forth until 30 minutes, but she didn't response to the resuscitation. After giving our best effort , the progress was getting worse until she didn't response at all. The monitor showing long asystole... then we lost her.....

Despite perfoming our best resuscitation procedure supported by sophisticated device, unfortunately we were unsuccesful saving her life.I feel bad... and I am still thinking about her until now and her helpless face haunted me.

I wish she rest in peace.. and my God bless her.

They are Nurses who were alternately gave resuscitation for her when other nurses were exhausted.

Thank you for reading supporting my blog.

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