#ulog4 : "My entire body hurts"

Just as my last ulog was happy and fluffy and full of energy, this one is just the opposite. I have body parts that have never hurt before and those that I didn't even know I had and they hurt too...

You will feel better after a run, he said... You will get an endorphin high, he said... You will have more energy for the rest of the day, he said...

Ok, 17 years ago I could run. I remember that time because running was a part of my training before a skydive. Today, I walk. I walk regularly and it is a part of my exercise. I have not run for a loooong time but thought since I walk, I couldn't be in a terrible shape, could I? Oh, yes I could.

My friend took me under his wing and made me his little pet project. On our first day, I run 100 meters and almost died. I could not breathe and my lungs and heart wanted to explode. Disappointment was huge. How could I suck this bad? Sure, I am a smoker, but still, this bad at running?

The best word would be useless. I felt useless. Common muscles, you can do this, do not explode, just move! On our second day, I managed to run some 700 meters but not in one try, oh no. I was running for a while and then walking, running and then walking again and when you add all the running, it adds to about 700 meters. Again, disappointing... Yesterday, on our third day, I run 1 kilometer and 500 meters from that was without stopping. It is a progress but I am still faaaaaar faaaar from being satisfied.

Sure, my body hurt while I was running. I was making loud and weird sounds while trying to catch my breath and people were looking at us with suspicion in their eyes. They probably thought my friend was torturing me, and he did. My legs were burning and my heart and lungs wanted to jump out of my body but when I got home and settled down that is when the real pain kicked in. My head was killing me. It was pulsating so bad and would not stop for hours. My legs, back, arms, stomach, everything was aching. Some parts of my body that I completely forgot I had, started hurting and I started hating myself.

The funny thing is... After running, everything was the best in the world, and I mean everything.

Everything was golden. I have never tasted better water or had a better banana. That banana was the best banana in the world. I had melon and watermelon and they were too, the best in the world. When I was having a fresh squizzed pineapple juice, tears came to my eyes because every nerve in my body was in pure delight. Tastes were better, smells and sounds too and that first cigarette I had, gave me quite a buzz.

After I took a warm shower, the world seemed to get better. Everything was perfect and I was running on endorphins for the rest of the time, not all the way, just for a couple of hours (until my head started hurting). I was feeling buzzed without alcohol or drugs and that feeling was incredible good, addictive even because even though my body started hurting again, I was thinking about my next run. I wanted that high feeling again.

The soccer world cup is taking place in Russia and Croatia is in the semi-finals with England. I have to admit, I did not expect my country to go this far and it was a pleasant surprise, for me and for the rest of my country.

The soccer madness has taken over my entire country. You can not take a piss without hearing something about the game. Radio, tv, people on the street... The stores are closing early today so everyone can watch the game. People are going crazy all over the place.

I was never much of a soccer fan, handball was always more interesting but I do appreciate their ability to run LOL. I almost died 3 times after running 1 kilometer and these guys are running nonstop for 90 minutes, I have to give them credit for that!

I am looking forward to tonight's game and am curious how it will go. I hope Croatia wins but my hopes are not really a factor in this equation. I also hope that my body will get better until then and that I will actually be able to watch it without feeling the pain in my every muscle...

This was the hardest post I have ever written. Even my fingers hurt while I am typing and I soooo want to go back to bed and rest for a while... On that note, send some happy vibes my way, I am off to dreamland, see you guys soon... Oh yeah, KEEP YOUR SMILE ON!