ULOG #5: I Choose to Put Myself First
ULOG #5: I Choose to Put Myself First
Today has been a rollercoaster of emotion for me because I have had to cut someone out of my life that has been a dear friend to me for a while now.
But, I realized over the past few days that the friendship has been pretty one-sided and I have been putting in most of the effort. The more I gave, the more was taken and I started to feel resentful.
When feelings like that come up for me, I take notice because that isn’t typical emotion for me.
I tend to trend more into the upbeat spectrum of emotion and choose to do so deliberately so that I don’t trigger feelings of depression or anxiety within myself.
I feel that I am pretty in tune with myself because I have dealt with mental challenges for years now so I’m able to pick up emotional shifts and usually can redirect them.
Why I cut ties
What I have noticed recently is that this friend has been putting me down verbally if I didn’t do what they wanted and when they wanted it and I have been allowing it for some reason. Not cool.
And I feel like this person was only coming to see me or making time for me when they wanted something from me.
I choose to surround myself with people that value me and contribute as much to my life as I do to theirs. Give and take is really big with me.
I understand that life isn’t always 50-50 and sometimes you have to give more than you receive but when its an all the time thing it becomes draining.
So, I chose to sever ties with this toxic friendship and the person immediately blocked my phone number and Facebook profile. Then, they went to our mutual friends and told them that I’m crazy and shouldn’t be trusted.
I guess I made the right decision in choosing to let them go, huh?
My friends that know me and love me know that they can trust me so I’m not worried about an opinion of someone that is mad that I don’t want to tolerate mistreatment anymore.
The Benefit
I had texted the friend one last time because I forgot to return something and a mutual friend of ours that was at their house responded to my text and gave me her number because we had never exchanged numbers since we were all friends.
If we made plans, the friend that I cut ties with would invite the people that I didn’t have phone numbers for so I never worried about it.
I’m actually glad that other friend answered the text because we have been messaging back and forth today and getting to know each other better.
We have plans to get together Sunday afternoon for lunch because I have always enjoyed her company and have found her to be truthful.
It’s always a nice thing to have a newish friend in the midst!
Thanks for reading,
Ivy
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