ULOG: #5 For Week 11 - Feeling Sad, Lonely and Tired
Today is not a really good day. Yes I was able to make 4 posts (this is my 4th) which rarely happens now. Usually 2-3 and I am ok. But still I feel down. Don't know why. :(
There are days when you feel all alone. Like there is no one you can talk to or no one can help you. It is when everything seems to fall down together, not step by step.
I feel frustrated on the outcome of both my upfundme posts. But I am still grateful no matter what that I am earning something. I might extend one of them or maybe both till Aug. 11 when my #upfundme premium that I registered end. It will be a shame not to use it. But I am wondering why the #upfundme premium is not voting??? Also my delegation from @nomad-magus will end this July, that is why I started my upfundme while I still have my delegation. It was the best 2 months I had. I am glad I was able to help my group so they too can earn and increase their reputation and SP and have a bigger value when upvoting. There are also a few other #steemians I am helping who are not in the group. Thank you @nomad-magus.
Finances are not good. I had to trade in a few steem and sbd to put in my coins.ph because I have some bills to pay before the end of the month. It was not enough so I have to post more so I can earn more and exchange again next week.
Some people may see my wallet and say I have a big amount but they are not mine, I mean they are mine but most are for some reasons. Approximately 145 sbd are for my 2 upfundme; for my ticket and baptism of my grandson. 140 was given from 3 different people. Thank you @henry-gant, @paradise-found and @joalvarez. The 5 is from earnings on the posts and other upvotes thanks @surpassinggoogle and #steemitdiversify family.
Then there is 20sbd for my helper when he finally buys his motorcycle. So I would say I only have a little left to help boost my posts so I can earn more. Also to exchange if needed. So I was trying to be thrifty because if I have a lot of sbd or steem I can use it for my projects.
End of the month is the worse time for me. Because early part I buy all our maintenance medicines and then groceries to last at least 3-4 week. I still do marketing every Saturday (market day) and even daily. By the 2nd -3rd week is when the electric bill arrives and I have to pay. Sometimes the end of the month is not so bad. I just wondered why this month it is hard and lacking. I also have to attend the class birthday month celebration on Sat. It is the only time I can have a break and relax, have fun and no worries. It s only once a month. Maybe I will earn a little more later and tomorrow so I can exchange again to use. I also want to visit my cousin in the hospital.
My other frustration is my laptop, it keeps hanging and my cursor freezes. I need to make this another goal, maybe later when the steem and steem dollar goes up like last year. A good kind runs to 35-50 thousand pesos approximately 750-1000usd. I need it for my online earnings and keeping in touch with my daughter and family and friends.
I am just letting out my frustrations and feelings for this day. Hope it will improve. I just felt so sad especially when these "see your memories" come up on Facebook. Makes me miss my daughter and the fun I had before. Sometimes I don't bother to look at them. Why add salt to the wound? I hate to borrow so I will see what I can do on my own. Maybe I can borrow that which is for the upfundme and pay back later :). The weather is not helping either too much rain and inconveniences.
So I am going to sleep early. Dream that I won in the lottery or any other contest and get what my heart desires; a good laptop so I can work online better, a plane ticket to the US and be able to provide my grandson with a good 1st birthday and baptism. They all seem attainable but it is easier in my dreams, no stress haha. It is hard to be financially incapacitated but I am doing the best I can.
Our mentor @surpassinggoogle has been very supportive of our group #SteemitDiversify and other groups too. Please support him as a witness by voting him at https://steemit.com/~witnesses and type in "steemgigs" at the first search box.
If you want to give him witness voting decisions on your behalf, visit https://steemit.com/~witnesses again and type in "surpassinggoogle" in the second box as a proxy.
Others that we should support are: @henry-gant, @nomad-magus, @kenny-crane, @beanz, @teamsteem, @good-karma, @busy.org, @esteemapp, @hr1, @arcange @bayanihan, @acidyo, @anomadsoul, @steemitph, @jerrybanfield, @darthnava, @paradise-found, @geetharao, @stephenkendal and @richq11; they also have supported us; also the many others who have visited My posts. Pls. support them too. Thank you very much.
I am grateful for them and for everyone who has helped me and my friends. (Quote made by @purpledaisy57 permission given to use for members of SD family)
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I'll tell you as a service desk representative by day job and as a volunteer technician, as well as a server administrator for open source projects. You do not need a new laptop just because the device is hanging or freezing up. Most likely that can be caused by a hung process, a stuck application, or in extreme cases, a failed hard drive. Though there are free tools that you can get to tell if you think it's a hardware problem. I'd start with the vender's preboot diagnostics.
I wish I have no idea on techy thing and I am scared to click anthin coz it might disappear. My laptop is 4 yrs old and low gig 8 I think But I will see if I can find a technician
Don't worry. I get that all the time. It's a matter of looking at what is running. Chances are good that something is there that shouldn't be. If you are afraid to fix things, then, you'll never make progress. It will probably take you longer to find somebody who isn't just going to tell you lies so that they can charge you more. I hate to admit it, but it is that way in our industry sometimews.
Everyone has low days. It will be okay tom. ☺️
Stay strong dear. However thank God for i know that all things work for good.
Tomorrow, you will smile:)
You got a 3.12% upvote from @emperorofnaps courtesy of @purpledaisy57!
Want to promote your posts too? Send 0.05+ SBD or STEEM to @emperorofnaps to receive a share of a full upvote every 2.4 hours...Then go relax and take a nap!