ULOG #13: LETTER TO MY FATHER

I have been thinking about you a lot and all that you are going through. It's so sad that I can't help in your time of distress; it is so heartbreaking that this is happening when I'm just a step away from what you have worked all your life for--becoming somebody. I'm about becoming somebody and you might not witness this happen. I know life can be unfair but this worse, I can't believe this is happening. If I had known 8years ago that you might not be returning to us again I would have never let you go. I would have cried at your feet begging that you reconsider this journey that has taken you far away from us.

I think about all you've missed: my journey to adulthood. Maybe things would have been easier if you were here to teach me a thing or two about being a man. Your youngest only has an idea of you, one she is fascinated with, but she may never know what it means to hold you and be loved by you.

I'm sorry I cannot help you, especially now that you need me. I pray you survive this, for me. I do not know what to do without you. I sat in our couch today looking at my sisters' faces and the thought that a lot depends on me right now is a burden I do not to bear. I need you to fight this, for us papa, for all of us.

I wish you had listened to me. I picture a different situation if you had. Things won't be as difficult as they are right, I would have been able to help now at least. No time for regrets but I will be living with a lot of them if you don't make it.