Yes life teaches us lot,the grief of losing our dear ones makes us too weak emotionally.I can understand your feeling about your father,hope everthing will be alright,please have faith in God and yourself.You are a very good son ,the world had known about your love and care for your parents.Beside being very good son,you are also a legend of steemit world,God will definitely return you your deserving happiness and beauty in life.I will pray for your beloved fathers recovery,god bless your sweet family dear.