ULOG#6: I'M BROKEN, I NEED HELP

in #ulog7 years ago

hello Steemians, hello uloggers, hi @ surpassinggoogle. I'm here again but today I'm pretty sad, no atom of happiness, I'm broken, I'm down, I'm just so sick and tired of being human.
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Guess why I'm broken? My fiance is up with another girl out there. I really do not believe it at first but when reality hit me on the face with proves, I could not hold it.

How we started.

It's about 6 years ago when we met in my own house through a sister. And since then we've been together. He asked me out and I accepted to be his girlfriend . I knew nothing about relationship, n thing at all about love. As at then we were fine, everything seems to be good, no fight, no quarrel, no argument.
We were happy! Yes we were.
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As we continue the love grew day by day and it got to some point where by not seeing each other or hearing each others voice on phone became a problem. We just have to see each other. Seeing physically I mean, or talk on phone. Luckily for us we live very close to each other, that gives us the opportunity to see frequently.

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After a while we started having issues because he was asking some random girls out and dating them at the same time. I felt dissapointed and I wanted to Opt out, but I was so in love and it seems to be diffcult, very difficult. We continued like that until he left them all for me. I was happy and thought probably he has learnt some hard lessons from double dating and that was why he stopped.

I'm a student in one of the best university here in Nigeria and I'm in my final year. I'm studying actuarial science as a course. If you know about the course, them I'm sure you will understand how tedious it is and will know the kind of stress I go through in school.
That's by the way side. The reason why I mentioned my school is because times when we have problems in our relationship is when I'm away in school.

He always think I'm dating someone else, he feels insecured. I won't say he's over protective or jealous because it's normal to do all that for some one you love.

I'm back to school again and he's acquising me of what I never did, I tried explaining to him but he didn't believe. He used that as an excuse for dating another girl again.
He blocked me from any means of communicating with him. He never want to here from me, he hate me real bad and I can feel it.
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(when we were happy together. I baked him the cake with a title "my hero")

After much pleading he accepted to forgive me of what I did not do but he told me he can't leave the other girl.
Can you imagine that? Being accused of what you never did and you're still the one pleading.

Now I'm trying all my best to blend all together school work, project work, relationship, social life, God and all other activities.
Showing him much care and giving him more attention but all he could say again was he doesn't want this type of attention, he said I'm nagging to much, I'm asking too much questions, I'm given too much attention, I should face my business that I have no business whatsoever with any other girl he's dating.

Seriously I'm tired, I have mixed feelings when I think about it. I can't even concentrate, my bp is high, for no reason I just shout out of consciousness, for no reason I feel high temperature when I think about everything we share. Any time I called and he's line is busy there's this fear that always rise in me, I feel scared. Just feel scared for no reason.

I'm broken, I'm down, I need to talk to someone, I need your advice and suggestions. Seriously, I don't know what to do.
I'm happy I could pour out my heavy mind here. At least I feel like there are people who will read and understand what I'm going through and will encourage me.
I need your advice.
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My eyes swollen as a result of everyday tears.

Thanks to @surpassinggoogle for this initiative. I feel relief after writing this. Thank you. I'm waiting for your advice. Thank you all

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The beautiful me

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This is deep and i fewl wvery word in there. I am a man and knows truelly daying two girls could be fun.at times we feel can always be a player and play many girls...but when it later dawn,the tale is never ever sweet.

I will advuse you to think wide and large..dont conclude with any rage. Be yourself and let not that matter weigh you down when yiu need to be concentrated with your academics...project writing isnt that easy I know . just hooe for the best and I hope he cones back on his knees begging .shalom.

Thanks @michaeljerry0 , I appreciate you

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