Ulog #3 - Life's Biggest Regret
I'm glad that @jason04 run a contest like this because I can be able to share my experience and my life's biggest regret. Thank you bro 😊
I went to a corner of my room and start thinking what's my biggest regret. But the only thing that's running on my mind is about my anger towards my father. We had many fights, it maybe physical or verbal. Whenever I will go to have bonding with my friends, he will not give his permission to go to. Whenever I had an award or something that could be proud of, he's not telling me that "You did good son" or "I'm proud of you son". Whenever I had something to do in school that it causes me to went home late, he will tell bad things about me and put his hands on me. Now, I start thinking;
Why he would not let me to be happy?
Is he really love me?
Is he really proud that I am his son?
What are the things that he did to me?
The last question got me realized of something. And because of that question I am able to answer those other questions. The reason why he would not let me go anywhere with my friends specially at the pool or beach is that because he is scared of something that might happen to me. He has care to me. He is scared because he is the reason why I am still alive today. He is my superhero. When I was 5 years old I am diagnosed to a disease which called appendicitis. I was on my last breath but he didn't give up. And that's why I am still breathing today. He really love me. He will do anything to me. Even if he will sell his body, he will do it for his family. When I thought his not proud of me? He just told his colleagues that I am very good and very smart.
"Pa? I'm sorry for what I've done to you. Sorry for everything. I love you!"
I am crying right now, maybe that's for now.