Ulog 7 | My Friend Said She No Longer Trusts Me

That's a picture of me. I would have posted a picture of her but I don't think that's a good move for now

There we were, in the same room together. It felt like one of our usual moments but it wasn’t. She started by saying she wasn’t pleased with what she had read on my phone. She said she was hurt. And then she said she could no longer trust me.

She was referring to a conversation I had with a friend of mine. There, I had reveal details of my relationship with my female friend. Lets just say I got carried away and revealed somethings she had expected to keep private.

Did I Say ‘Sorry’?

While she poured out her emotions, I remained where I was. My mind was racing. I wonder what I could do. I wonder what she expected me to do. The first thing that came into mind was to apologise but I didn’t.

I know many people would expect me to apologise but I think I have two valid reasons for not apologising. Before you judge me, kindly hear me out.

First, she announced that I had lost her trust. At that point, she didn’t think I was trustworthy. I doubt if my apology would have made much of a difference. Maybe it would, but I wasn’t just going to spurt out sorry because that is what every does. This leads to my second reason.

To be honest, I am not really sorry for what I did. I am not saying I am happy she is hurt. That is far from it. What I mean is that I didn’t see (and still don’t) see anything wrong with what I did. I had never thought she would have issues with it. For crying out loud, the guy I shared the details with was a close confidante of mine. We share stuff together. I tell him stuff and he does same too.

Let me explain that last point. Because I didn’t exactly see where I had gone wrong, saying sorry would have just been hypocritical of me. I mean, when you say sorry, it means you regret what you did, right? I am very much sorry for the effect my action caused. I have learnt my lesson. Going forward, I would take permission from others before I share details like that with a third party.

Will She Ever Trust Me Again?

I honestly cannot answer that question. I really want to regain her trust. She had been a fantastic friend who have been with at my deepest points of need. She has made numerous sacrifices for me. On my part, I have come to see as as more than a friend. She is someone dear and special to my heart.

I believe that the best way to regain someone else’s trust is to make yourself trustworthy and also understand what trust means to them. For me, my actions do not constitute a breach of trust. For her and others, it obviously is.

I still think about her statement, about how hurt she is. In times like this, I don’t know what do to or say.

I need help/advice.