In the midnight, a Chinese poem occured to me. It is a famous ancient poem which I have read when I was in my teens. The difference is that I had no feeling about death of the beloved person at that time. I only felt that it was very beautiful.
(The author Lu You陆游 composed these poems at the age of seventy-five. It was in Shen Garden that he, more than forty years before, had met by chance Tang Wan 唐婉,who had been his beloved wife and who had been forced by his mother to seperate from him. Not long after their chance meeting in Shen Garden, Tang Wan died of grief.)
Saddening is the sound of horns on the city wall at sunset;
In Shen Garden the ponds and terraces are no long the same.
Most heartbreaking are the green waters underneath the bridge;
Therein I saw her graceful figure once reflected.
Forty years have passed since the dream ended and all fragrance faded away;
In Shen Garden the willow trees are too old to bear flowers.
Though I shall soon be part of the soil of Mountain Ji,
I cannot hold back my tears on seeing this place.
My nose stinged again, I must try my best to refrain the voice from weeping in order not to wake up my sister in the same room.
I fell asleep slowly. This time, I unexpectedly dreamed of you. The dream was so vivid. I saw you and your American wife came into the room and sat on the back seats together. I turned head and caught a glimpse of you, I daren't let you see me. I just thought, miserably, "Oh, you always belonged to your American wife, instead of me."
Finally, I screwed up my courage to draw near to you. After all, nobody could deny the fact that you were my dearest English teacher. It is reasonable for a student to go farward and say hello to the teacher and his family , isn't it?
However, when I opened my mouth, trying to ask you if you felt better. (God, you see, I forgot that you passed away, but I still remembered you were not in good health in the dream. ) I found I was speechless. At that moment, I became a pure Chinese who can't follow English, I was so nervous, oh, God, how should I say it in English properly: Do you feeling better? or Are you feel better? Oh, no, both no... I was extremely confused and frustrated...
Later I woke up. I immediately began to check the Auto translation App. I input the Chinese sentence "你感觉好点儿了吗？", then "Are you feeling better? and" Do you feel better?" popped out. "Too stupid, " I said to myself, "such simple English sentences I unexpectedly failed to speak out in the dream. " But I still felt very happy for a long time, because it is the first time that you appeared in my dream, being alive, I could see you and keep you near again.
In most of my past dreams, I always seeked for you everywhere. Sadly, I have no way to hear from you. Each time, after I inquired about you crazily, I got the message that you returned to US and passed away, my heart was broken. Then I awoke from dreams, I recalled that you just passed away in China alone, yeah, you never left me.
Oh, The True Love Never Dies!
The True Love lasts just like the sun, the moon, the stars, the sea, the mountain...