I'm still forever grateful I had you

In my heart, I never feel my late American husband was a proud white-American citizen. He was so gentle and close to me that I always forgot that he was different from me. However, Life is always very hard for anyone to live in a strange city, not to mention in a strange country alone. God, I made a huge mistake; God, please forgive my ignorance...

The fact is that I am nothing without him...

I post the blogs about him, only for keeping my memory about him alive... I miss him...

He once told me that his eyes turned green in the sunshine when he was young ... As usual, they were brown/black like mine...

He passed away in China, having no chance to return to US alive any more. Many times I feel his soul just stays in China, maybe he has incarnated into a Chinese in the next life. Oh, no, not be a Chinese, it is horrible! just be a citizen in a brand-new empire!

In my impression, he was just like a piece of Chinese jade. He was white, gentle, soft, warm, submissive... I can't believe that I have lost my priceless jade forever...

Every time when I wake up from dream, my heart is as painful as wrung by knife. If you don't love deeply, you can't understand such kind of emotion...

With all that I have been through: all the hurt, all the pain, all the struggles that have come as a result of losing you; I'm still forever grateful I had you.

Well-said, it is so true!