Ulog #22: I love my Mom eventhough.....

"Mother - Noun. 1. One person who does the work a lot for free."

It's been a long time since I saw her. My mom. Well as you know guys my parents were been separated for almost 6 years and she's not living on our home since then. Well as the matter of fact, they have already their own partnet.

really makes me sad as their eldest son, still i can't accept that "fact" that they we won't be a Family anymore.

My life will still go on, yeah ! it is really hard not just for me but also to my siblings ( maybe also to her ).

She asked me while i am in work if i can to her place, In Baras, Rizal PH. She's living already there with her new husband. Me and my siblings are in Marikina City, NCR. And my place of work is here on Taytay, Rizal.

I agree to go there after my duty at 5pm

I was so excited and maybe she was also. I requested her if she can cook me something delicious for our dinner. I really missed her foods. To me her dishes is the most delicious food ever, no one can ever replace the way she cook for us.

From here my work, i needed to travel at least 2 hours to her place, 4 times transferring of vehicles. I need to ride a tricycle, then Jeepney ( local transportation means here in Philippines ), then again tricycle and lastly another ride of Jeep.

Just getting there in her place would take such efforts HAHAHA in money also.

Luckily i went out on office a lil' bit early and came to my mom's place at 6:45pm

She was doing our dinner already, i could smell the aroma of her "Sinigang na Bangus" just outside of her house.

While waiting she offered me a coffee ( she knew that i loved coffee ), she added a cookies but i just said that i need to empty my stomach to eat a lot of her Sinigang. Also i was playing with their naughty dog, giving me licks all over and placing dirt in my pants HAHA. I also looking on my mom's little vegetable garden at the back of their house.

Her new husband was there also, cleaning his motorcycle and we talked a bit also. Well, I'm already used to talked to my parent's new partners, what i can do about that, i mean the only thing i can do is to accept the reality that they have both their own lives. My father has already his newborn son to his new wife while my mom has no child yet.

won't talk negativity here :)

So after my mom finished our food, we dig in, we ate together like we're really a family ( well a family technically but not legally ), i talked to my mom, asked how's her life, what she's doin', stuffs like that. I also talked about what's happening to me, my problems, my sadness, also my happiness, everything i could share to her.

She's the only person I could share anything about me, she understand me when i couldn't understand myself, she's there not physically but emotionally, I'm missing this time , this moment.

She hugged me, tap my head and put her warm hand into my shoulder. I was moved, i thought i regained all my strength losing this past days. But still i am sad, sad because i can't do this always. I can't be here always. It's not the old times that we were really a Family, many things has changed, those changes didn't matter if its good or bad, it's already there and needed to accept only.

I didn't went in her place as her eldest son or because she is my mom ( don't get the wrong idea guys, she is and i am ), but i went there for the only reason that i really miss her, i'm longing in her attention,

Yeah ! i lost the attention i was used to, i lost her warm presence when i am down and i lost of the person i can really trust. She's still in my life but not the way i wanted to be. The moment

The moment she chose her own life over us was the time i lost her, we lost her. WE LOST THE FAMILY WE BUILT TOGETHER FOR SO MANY YEARS.

i am not mad at her, i love her guys, i really do and i will. but i am disappointed the way we ended such thing because of being selfish. We all. i am too.

It was 8:30 pm when she asked me if i wanted to go home, even though there still time for us to talk, I felt that i needed to go home, i felt she really wanted me to and also i needed to go early to my work for the next day. From her house to my home in Marikina, it would take also 2 hours of travel.

really quite far and i felt tiredness while on my way home.

I thanked her for the food and for having me there in her house. I don't know when will be the next time i will go there. But I am looking forward.

So that's it my @ulog for this day ! Thanks for reading it guys :) 'til next time.

Please also support @surpassinggoogle as a witness by voting him at https://steemit.com/~witnesses and type in "steemgigs" at the first search box.

If you want to give him witness voting decisions on your behalf, visit https://steemit.com/~witnesses again and type in "surpassinggoogle" in the second box as a proxy.