ULOG 16: Missing Him So Much

It's been 12 days since my father's passing. I have not been to work since, and not even active on Steemit. Aside from network issue in my parent's place in Cavite, It is kinda hard to do things lately.

I am used of going here seeing him sitting or lying on our wooden sofa. His smile will welcome me and my wife everytime we visit. He is like a child seeing his favorite person. According to my mom, he regain his strength everytime we visit. Which I thought might revive him, if I only have reached the hospital on time where he took his last breath.

As the eldest among the siblings, I feel guilty of not providing what he needs, not the financial support, but my presence and love.

I seldomly hug my father, I only hold his hands or wrapped my arms on his shoulder. Which I regret so much.

I idolize my father so much for protecting and serving our family. And I don't think I can replace him. He is the only one and I missed him so much. I am longing for his hugs that I did not give when he is still here.

If I missed him that way, sure my mom do so much.

That is why I decided to bring her out and have a little dinner treat.

Eversince my father become ill and got hard times of moving, my mom was never able to go to the mall nor go out to the wet market. All she does is to prepare food for papa and bring him to hemodialysis center three time a week.

For 2 years, this has been her routine and it is just right to bring her out and have a little refreshment. Which I believe my father wants to do to her, if only he has a strength to walk for hours.

Now, we still miss my father. No matter how we prepared our selves when he started riding on his bed, it is still hard to accept when the time comes.

My advice, express how much you love your parents. Hug them, kiss them, treat them. Surely they are longing for one.

For now, I still don't know when to go back to my usual routine. Maybe after a while.

Thanks to those who sent their prayers for my father.