The Commercialization of the Traditional Marriage Rites

ambdavid (53)in #ulog • 6 years ago

Marriage is as old as man himself and its practices are varying with culture, one could correctly say that every culture has its modus operandi as it concerns marriage rites. But all leads to the same thing, the existence of two people as husband and wife.

Various indications are also prescribed based on religion, some religious beliefs prescribe the marriage of one man to one wife, Christianity inclusive. There are other religions too that permits as many partners as possible as far as there are sufficient means of taking care of the partners.

In Akwa Ibom State of Nigeria, the traditional marriage rites is generally referred to as usoro ndoh. This is a build up of events that happens in sequence according to culture. Before this time, the groom had already gone to his would be bride's family home to see her parents, he goes with some members of his family to know his soon to be in-laws. It is more like a familiarization visit where the man goes with drinks asca mark of honour to identify with the family of his betrothed. This stage is called nkong udok which means "Door Knocking or knocking of door". Literally, as the name implies he's still a visitor at this stage and hence has to knock before entering.

After that stage, he finds himself in the heart of another traditional demand which is called mbib. This word literally means ask or asking, it is at this stage that the man's intention is made more serious due to the collection of marriage list. This is the stage that has to do with the presentation of the marriage list by the bride's family, the list involves various food requirements, dresses, accessories and sometimes very large sums of money.

Although the list is usually statutory, it can be negotiated depending on the economic strength of the groom to be, however various sources have said that when a man gives everything as prescribed by the wife's culture it's a sign he loves her dearly and desires to take her away at all cost.

In the past, the requirements or contents of the list were just a few needed things, then a little amount of money not as a means of extorting but just as a symbol of exchange between the two families coming together.

The case is however not the case these days, marriage has been made to seen like an Industry of its own. It seems nowadays like the bride's family attempting to get wealthy overnight through the sales of their most treasured property - in this case, the woman.

One Comedian had said in his jokes, that God was the first father in-law who gave his daughter to be married without getting anything in return. Where then did we get this attitude from of exploiting in-laws even before they arrive the family. .

In any case, marriage is a beautiful thing, it is honourable and should be encouraged only when the two people involved have gone through an all round maturity and responsibility.

It is after this stage of list collection and redemption of items that the traditional marriage proper can then begin.

One could stop at the point of the traditional marriage rites, where there's money, a religious wedding may follow, most people try the court marriage too.
How's is the marriage protocol in your culture like?