I don’t think there’s much new under the sun. I did read, though, that German men aged between 17 and 45 have to ask the army for permission if they leave the country for more than three months. Oh well, who’s going to check that if you’re away for more than three months? And why would you report that at all? Just say you’re going on holiday, although you don’t have to say that if it’s only for two or three weeks. So far, not a single family is said to have a tractor, but if they tell the men that, we women will soon be following suit, because they’re being called up in the Netherlands.

Years ago we also had voluntary health insurance; this is actually quite nice for those who are never ill, and I do know quite a few people who, in any case, never go to the doctor anymore because it’s simply unaffordable. These are the very people who now pay very high premiums and still don’t go to the doctor; you might wonder if that’s fair, because the sickness benefit contribution is also deducted from income, regardless of whether that income comes from work or from benefits.

You don’t need to apologise if you don’t reply; no time is no time, and it doesn’t matter why that is. I do understand that you’re tired; I’ve been struggling with that a lot myself over the last few days. So I just sleep; it doesn’t really matter what time I go to bed or get into bed.

I also understand how it feels to be dependent. It’s awful, and in your case there doesn’t seem to be a solution either, which is actually even worse. What happens when your parents are no longer around?
You can’t really do anything with €100. I still don’t understand why there aren’t any funds that can be accessed, or applied for, or is that a duplication? If there’s someone in the family or circle of friends who can afford it, do they have to foot the entire bill? Why is it that you’re not getting anything for the pain, or at least something to help you, because if the doctors don’t know what it is or think they don’t, surely that’s the least they can do. I assume a second opinion isn’t an option either? I also find the dependence on a doctor awful; I’ve never really had a good one and that’s another very good reason never to go back. It must be really bad, really, really bad, for me to go, and I can tell you straight away that dying is certainly not a good reason.
I wish you strength, or at the very least a good few hours’ sleep, even if it’s only five hours, to ease the pain. Does the computer still distract you?