Sarah Sanders: President Trump Is Calm, Cool, Collected, And Completely Under Control

William Southold | Opinion Columnist |The Southold Report

In the wake of a variety of public displays of disturbing behaviors, #DerangedDonald trending on Twitter, and a 45 minute recorded phone call from President Trump that Sean Hannity aired last night in which Trump admitted his previous charges that Obama tapped his phone were “just a hunch”, I was all set to make those items a priority today. But when I then read this morning that a panel of psychiatrists issued a report claiming the Mueller Report offers more proof of Trump’s mental decline, I hurriedly put down my iPad, dumped my cup of coffee, and rushed to get dressed. I was well aware of the Starbucks where White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders often stops before heading to work, and I was anxious to get there to see if I could catch her. (If not for the keen observational powers of my wife, I would have left the house in my pajama pants.)

Sarah and I go way back. I covered her dad, Gov. Mike Huckabee as a rising political star in Arkansas. One morning, arriving early at their house in Little Rock for an interview, I had observed Sarah, in her teens, climbing back through a window after a long night out. We were tight after that.

I managed to catch Sarah as she was leaving Starbucks and getting back in to her chauffeured limo. Here was our quick conversation:

Me: Sarah, can I catch you for a word about the status of the President?

Sarah: Gotta run, Will.

Me: I read a report this morning about a group of psychiatrist saying the Mueller Report showed evidence of the President’s mental decline. Any comment?

Sarah: More liberal psychobabble from the Fake News.

Me: Sarah, you know I’m the only Fake Newsman in the country.

Sarah: If you all write the same nonsensical gobbledegook, you’re all Fake News.

(Being an honorable Fake Newsman, I let that one slide.)

Me: So no response to the psych’s report?

Sarah (getting into the car): President Trump is calm, cool, collected, and completely under control. Always has been.

Me: So is that the official White House response?

Sarah: Gotta go, Will.

The chauffeur closed the door and shot me a mean look. That didn’t stop me, though, from tapping on her window. She buzzed it down.

Me: Sarah, if I don’t see you through the weekend, I’ll see you through the window.

Her eyes grew wide, and she immediately buzzed the window back up without saying a word.

So that was a "window" into the life of Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ world this morning.

Maybe after she reads this, we won’t be so tight. Oh, well.

Central News Service, proudly bringing you the fakest news anywhere, featuring our very own Pulitzer Prize winning Fake Newsman, William Southold

(CNS Disclaimer: Mr. Southold has in no way won the Pulitzer Prize.)

(Art provided by permission of artist.)