Bridge-Building Through Curiosity & Respect | TSU Biweekly Question
This week the @TribeSteemUp biweekly question is:
No matter where we live or who we live around, we all can find dissension in our communities.
Dissension is defined as disagreement that leads to discord. Discord being a lack of harmony.
Dissension is like notes that don't sound good together on a musical scale. It inherently doesn't feel good. We want to get away from it, stop it, ignore it or fight against it. That's the initial impulse.
Yet, is there another way to think about it? Is there a way to, as the question asks, move foward in the face of dissension?
I am writing this after watching this video, which I have seen floating around yet just watched due to seeing @meno's post in my Steem feed today.
The story is of Daryl Davis, a black man who went out of his way to try to understand the root of racism by talking to the Grand Dragon (Regional leader) of the KKK and attending Klan meetings.
While to many this seems antithetical or even dangerous, Davis entered into the discussions with true curiosity, not hatred nor aggression, but truly wanting to know.
Watching this video, which I highly recommend, has cemented and revealed something for me which I want to bring up today.
Respect
Respect is the missing ingredient oftentimes when we disagree with someone.
We think,
How can this person think this way?
What is wrong with them?
This person is so wrong... I can't even...!
This is not worth my time, we'll never see eye to eye.
This person doesn't respect me so why should I respect them?
Usually, when in an argument, both people hold fast to their guns, not budging to TRY TO SEE THINGS FROM THE OTHER POINT OF VIEW.
I am guilty of this OFTEN. One example I can give is in political talks with my dad. He's a Trump supporter and I'm not and nearly every time we start to talk about it, we get into a heated, ugly debate where let's face it, we're not open to the other person's point of view.
It gets ugly Quick! Neither of us hold much stake in the other's viewpoint, thinking that we're right. This is the core of dissension.
These conversations aren't easy and I've basically taken the stance that it's not healthy to "go there" so we don't talk about it anymore.
But my dad and I still love each other and get along. We still talk and we haven't cut each other out of our lives.
Yet, the missing ingredient to our conversations is respect. My dad and I don't start from there when we disagree.
Taking it to a larger scale, as Davis did however, where black people are getting killed by white supremacists... It blows my mind this man's staying power, and the force of his sheer curiosity.
Curiosity
I believe that is another key to working with dissension.
Dissension is a fertile ground to possibly learn something new. Let's face it, though harmony and agreeing with people feels good and is easy and even more productive, "diversity is the spice of life." Things can get boring or bland if we all agree all the time.
That's why curiosity, true curiosity, is at the core of befriending and "moving forward" with people we disagree with. Not the type of curiosity that is playing at being curious just so you can get your viewpoint in there, but the true seeking of understanding.
Curiosity paired with a starting point of Respect is the key to moving forward from Dissension.
In the end, as you'll see in the video with Davis & Kelly, people may have to agree to disagree on certain points, but I'm sure there are a lot of points of agreement to be found in there as well.
Obviously it is the hardest when you are coming at someone with respect and they continually don't respect you or have any openness or curiosity towards your viewpoint. Davis is incredible example to the power of consistency in Curiosity & Respect. Kelly and many other members in fact left the klan after being friends with Davis for many years...A true testament to the power of these tools.
These could be some of our strongest tools to change the world.
What are your thoughts?
It is the most difficult thing to do, to take a step back and a say to the other person, I respect your point of view. Can we discuss it? I want to understand. So many problems in the world could be averted if we just said those few words instead of taking the view that you are right and they are wrong.
You hit the nail on the head! Perfectly said 💓
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Watched entire video. Davis seeks understanding.
Yes he seeks understanding. It’s a powerful force.
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Really great and it has charmed me a lot.
Glad to hear it!
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Thank you!
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this is great @mountainjewel, respect and curiosity are so important in helping us to move forward, I am going to watch the video later xx
Thanks dear! So simple yet ultimately powerful. Curious to hear your take on the vid... pretty amazing stuff! Xo
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Very interesting read.
I think that loving your neighbors and not placing judgment is quite the challenge in this day and time.
Respect for self and others is a great starting point!
I to am guilty of being to quick to judge.
Agreed and I’m guilty too of being quick to judge. I’m inspired however to keep staying curious and also to come more from a place of respect. We are the changemakers and we can do hard things. If not us, who? The world is divided enough as it it.
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Truth spoken
Couldnt agree more. In fact im not even sure i will write up my own response as thus is so perfect. Its hard to put into practice sometimes! Especially when we believe the views of others to be so ABHORRENT.
This is the hard part for sure @riverflows! Not saying I’m good at it, but Davis ^^^ is such a good example I’m inspired to keep trying 💓
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