Beyond My Control? [An Answer to @tribesteemup's question - How Much Control Do You Feel You Have Over Your Life?]

So, I've been reading interesting posts for the past few days in response to @tribesteemup's question 'How much control do we have over life?' and there are a lot of interesting ideas out there (check out @minismallholding's post on the subject as well as this really interesting response from @riverflows). And I don't really know how this #TribeSteemUp thing works, if you have to be a member of something, but it's a subject that I've been pondering a lot lately, so I figured I'd throw in my two cents' worth.

How Much Control Do You Feel You Have Over Your Life?

_{Photo by Miguel Bruna on Unsplash}

I'm usually very two-ways about this sort of question, so that depending on the day you ask, I'll say we control everything or nothing. Honestly, I think both those answers are wrong.

You can't control everything, simply because so many things in your life depend on third parties - your parents, friends, colleagues, neighbors, even random strangers you pass by on the street...they all make up part of your life.

For example, you get stuck in traffic while on your way to a job interview because Joe decided he should leave his wife and start a new life. And as luck would have it, he decided to do it today, of all days. He didn't know you had a big job interview and he didn't know he'd cause a hold-up. However, Joe's mechanic was working on Joe's car the other day, but his mind was elsewhere (he has a baby on the way, say), so he messed something up in Joe's car.

So, you missed your big job interview because of Joe's mechanic. And you don't even know Joe...hey, it happens...

So, you can't control everything. A lot of who we are is a result of how we were brought up, frustrations pent up as children, injustices suffered when we felt too small to raise our voices, lies served to us as truth. They all have an impact on us. We can't change that.

However, we can change who we are and control how we react to all these external factors and stimuli.

See, I'm a big believe in choices. Maybe my parents could've raised me better, maybe my teacher in third grade could've been kinder. But how their actions affect me, the adult, is up to me. My choice now is how much I let that dictate my behavior, my words and actions.

I can let the bad break-up from five years ago influence me and destroy all future endeavors. Or I can choose to be stronger than that, I can tell myself I can do this until I can actually do it.

Choices.

In life, we are faced with so many unexpected situations. We can control and prevent some, but not others. And they will catch up with you in the end, believe me. Sooner or later, you find yourself face to face with a decision or a make-or-break moment in your life and how you react to that moment is up to you.
How you allow that moment to influence you later is also up to you.

So, I guess the short answer is - some. I like to think I have some control over my life. Even when it would be easier to blame the bad things on someone else, I know I must take responsibility for my actions and choices.

I can't control everything that happens. But I control my reaction to what happens and that will have to be good enough.

Anyway, those are my thoughts on the subject. What do you think?

Thanks for reading,