Just a little bit bitey...

A little while ago we travelled north into the Northern Territory (NT) of Australia, to Darwin, the Territory's capital. It's what one would truly call outback although the small city of Darwin is civilised enough. Get out of Darwin though and it's rugged and unforgiving. Whether you're inland, or on the coast survival here is difficult. There's little drinkable water, it's as hot as hell, there's nothing to eat (unless you're an expert in living off the land) and just about everything will kill you; Snakes, wild pigs, sharks, spiders and of course one of the most iconic killers in Australia, the crocodile.

One of northern Australia's most efficient predators, in fact one of the worlds most deadly killers, is the crocodile, an expert hunter, silent and stealthy and is indiscriminate in what it hunts and kills. Buffalo, dingos, large fish, sharks, dogs, pigs and humans are all on the menu. They hunt opportunistically also meaning they will take you even if they are not hungry. The rivers, estuaries, billabongs and ocean are full of them and they can grow to immense proportions, some 6 metres in length. (That's about 20 feet.) A word of warning, salt water crocodiles are just as comfortable a hundred kilometres out to see as they are in a fresh water river a hundred kilometres inland.

See this image below? This is a mate of mine and his wife. They are submersed within a thick perspex cylinder in a man-made tank containing a 5 metre crocodile. They paid for the privilege at a place called Crocosaurus Cove in Darwin, an awesome tourist attraction that one must visit if in Darwin. It gives a great idea on the size differential between an average crocodile and a fully grown human. In the brown waters of Adelaide River, Darwin a human would stand little chance. People don't get attacked by crocodiles and live to tell the story.

The image below was also taken by me. This one is on the Adelaide River south of Darwin, about an hour by car. You can see a group of tourists on an aluminium punt and a crocodile making it's way out of the water lured by a small piece of meat on a stick wielded by the tour operator. This crocodile is about 80 years old and is 6 metres long. He goes by the name brutus. Again you can see the perspective in size compared to the humans in the punt. A crocodile can jump out of the water as far as three quarters their length so a person in a boat could also be taken if careless.

This is Brutus below taken by me from the safety of my own punt. The crocodile was no more than 30cm away (12 inches) from me and I took this through the aluminium bars of the punt as seen on the image above. It was somewhat unnerving as he was just staring at me as if to say, "go on, get in for a swim, it's hot outside and cool in here..."

Many people have been taken by crocodiles. They are highly intelligent (crocs, not humans) and will watch for patterns such as fishing or cleaning fish in the same spot, then lie in wait and before you know it you're in agony and struggling to escape it's immense bite-force. Crocodiles bite at 3700 pounds per square inch (psi); For comparison a human uses about 150-200psi to bite into steak. A hyena, lion or tiger all also known to have an immense bite-force generates about 1000psi.

Thousands of these predators swim around in the waterways across the top end of Australia from Western Australia across Northern Territory to Queensland and remain virtually unchanged since prehistoric times; A testament to the efficient design of the animal. Why change when you're pretty much perfect I guess. They are a frightening beast to confront from the safety of a boat and I would imagine that falling into a waterway in the northern parts of Australia would get your attention very quickly. (If you're smart that is). People rarely get a second chance with these things.

Australia is a vast country full of amazing things to see and do, great people, vibrant cities, sensational food and a strong multi-cultural flavour. It's an amazing place to live and I love it. It's one of the best tourist destinations if you can survive the long bloody flight to get here and we welcome everyone. Except terrorist assholes. You lot can fuck off. if you are down this way you may want to consider a trip to Darwin. It's a long way from anywhere but well worth the effort. If you make it there put the Adelaide River crocodile cruise on your list of things to do along with Crocosaurus Cove. Oh, get yourself to the Humptydoo Hotel also for a great burger and beer in a country pub atmosphere. It might look unsavoury but they're the friendliest bunch you'll meet. You can see my burger and beer above and on the right a familiar sign you'll see everywhere. You won't regret it.

So, I hope you get to visit and if you do possibly I'll CU in the NT.