My Experience of Tasting Chinese Food in Australia

You know that my attitude to Asian food has always been good but I have become a bit careful lately. Let me explain why... Last month my wife Valentina started working at Caversham Wildlife Park in Western Australia. It meant that I basically had the house all to myself for the four days that she was at work slaving away!  The fun of dancing around like Tom Cruise in “Risky Business” only lasted so long sooo… I applied for tons more jobs and basically hit every spectrum of what I could possibly be doing.  I looked at everything from working at a golf course to a pastry chef to a beekeeper’s assistant to numerous non-profit organizations and wineries. 

Friday was my friend`s last night in Australia so we had planned to all hang out before his morning flight on Saturday.  We met in Downtown Perth and walked around aimlessly looking for a place to eat… being indecisive is awesome!  We headed to an area called Northbridge that has a bunch of restaurants, fun shops, and bars, so it seemed promising.  We finally decided that we were craving Asian food and to our surprise we ended up in the Asian Town of Perth.  There was restaurant after restaurant of authentic looking places with names like “Happy China”, “Lucky Bowl”, and “Green Dragon”.  The first place we walked into was a BYOB (Bring Your Own Beverage) so we decided to try another place…that can really make or break your night!  The next place was a buffet style, cook at your table, all you can eat place that looked promising.  We decided to stick with the buffet after realizing that most people were doing that even though there was quite an array of unidentifiable things in it.  Our waiter realized that we were totally out of our element and a bit confused, so he kindly gave us a tour of everything on the buffet and tried to explain what everything was (even though he was unsure of a few things!).  To begin they brought a big burner that looked like it had exploding potential, and then they brought two different types of broths to cook everything in.  We decided on the hot and spicy (to be a little adventurous) and the original chicken broth (to play it safe).

Valentina and my friend John quickly stocked up on their all you can drink Emu Bitter Beer (3% Alc!) while I stuck to my selection of soy inspired beverages (antibiotics are horrible!).  We piled our plates up with unidentifiable meats, tofu balls, and vegetables and then went to town cooking.  Not thinking about a methodical way to do this and being very hungry we basically threw everything into the two different broths and hoped for the best.  I was feeling a bit adventurous and tried a tofu square cooked in the hot and spicy broth and immediately my entire body felt like it was in flames!  My lips were burning, my mouth was on fire, my eyes were watering, my nose was running, and I could barely talk because I was in so much pain!  I guzzled my soy beverage down and about five itty bitty glasses of tea and it seemed to not do anything but make it worse!  I really thought I was about to die.  So much for that heat threshold that I thought I had.  John gave it a go and had a much more controlled reaction, but still agreed that it was ridiculously spicy but he likes to suffer when eating.  Valentina didn’t even attempt to try it.

After inflicting unnecessary pain on ourselves at dinner we headed back to South Perth and hung out at John`s apartment, reminiscing about the old days…well the three weeks we’ve known each other.  We said our goodbyes and Valentina and I headed back to our relatives to get things packed up for our trip to Margaret River!!!

Happy Reading !!!