As I grew up in Alaska, I was unfamiliar with cockroaches. Texas enlightened me.

I did not know they could grow to over six inches long, and lurk outside my door, waiting to pounce on me when I stepped outside at 3am to investigate a loud sound (a neighbors parrot squawked).

The lights come on, and as your head exits the apartment, an attack helicopter, er, I mean, Palmetto Bug (what they call cockroaches the size of aircraft carriers in Austin, TX) flies directly into the side of your head, and the panic sets in.

I realized after only a second that (thankfully!) the insect was just as frightened as was I, didn't bite (or lay eggs in my ear, so it's larva could eat my brain), and running wouldn't dislodge it from my head. Also, I looked pretty silly in my tighty whiteys, frantically batting at imaginary demons at 3am.

Good bye Texas!