To fly and not die

The journey is long, with 2 stopovers and as you have already understood I'm not really the most serene person in the world. The route Venice-Rome has passed without too many dramas, just some ear pain, enough to cry and to the test me! Then 5 hours in Rome waiting. So I almost forgot that was only the beginning.

In fact a dull thought creeps into my mind, secretly. I walk a little, I sit, I get up, I look at some shop windows, I sit down again, I get up. I go to the bathroom, look at all the wrinkles of my face in the mirror, walk again. I collapse on the chair. I look out the big windows and I see the planes leaving. All of a sudden I understand, as it was the first time, that I have to get in a flying vehicle and stay inside it for 14 hours or so without breathing anymore.



Afraid of flying? No, who told you that? I walk nervously up and down, if I get tired maybe I'll think less, if I count the steps as counting the sheep maybe I'll fall asleep. I sit and I rock back and forth as an autistic person, with all respect, with the eyes barred but I see nothing, I don't feel anything. Afraid of flying? No, what makes you think that? It's not the first time, I know how it works, I know they are just senseless thoughts and that the plane is the safest means in the world.

But... why don't we go by ship? Sure it will be a bit longer but you know what experience! Who cares if we have already handsomely paid the tickets. Let's stay here a few months, there are so many things to see in Rome! What? I wanted to dance the tango? No, never really thought. Let's do something else, something crazy but safe! I implode. I also think about an hypothetical last will, thank goodness that I have practically nothing to leave. What if I'm sick? Not even a window that I can open, do you belive it? It's like a safe that no one knows the combination of. In a hot air balloon at least you breathe fresh air, sure if it rains you ger wet...



Did they call the flight? No, you're wrong, no please leave me here. You go! You' will have a good time even alone. You'il meet a lot of people. Detaching the fingers one by one from the chair is a suffering (and also quite shameful). But first I have to go to the bathroom, I have to take time, I have to find an escape, but I'm petrified and my bodyguard doesn't leave me.

Weeping I give the ticket to the hostess. "Is it all right?" she asks me. Do you think it's all right, we'll float in the air on a plane! How I could say yes. But she's happy and smiling. What does she knows about inner catastrophes? Brian's going to put me in my seat, fasten my belt and hold my hand. It will be fantastic, he tells me, and I imagine the splits of Heather Parisi when I was little. The plane moves, the heart stops, it's the point of no return: No second thoughts. But who made me do it?