Before even leaving the house this morning, we almost had a disaster. You don't quite appreciate door handles until they're gone.

Hayley went into the bathroom this morning. As she twisted the handle, it came off in her hands. Thankfully, the door was already open and I was able to twist it back on. We have lived in our own home for months without door handles of various rooms, so you could say that I was trained to deal with this sort of situation.

I almost actually, legitimately had the opportunity to use the emergency toilet paper. It was just a single, strong coffee away from use.

We headed to Australia's only remaining German-settled township, almost drank titty-milk and ate everything vegan at Everything Vegan.

Hahndorf is one of my favourite small towns. There is SO much happening there and the shops and cafes seem to go on forever!

We rode our pushbikes fifteen minutes into town before catching the forty-five minute bus ride to Hahndorf village.

As we rode, the rain spattered annoyingly against my face to the point where the front of my shorts were wet through and I looked like a sweaty, wannabe cyclist that couldn't afford the lycra. You can imagine my appreciation when the rain stopped just as we reached cover.

The Adelaide Hills would be a blast to drive through in a convertible. We settled for public transport.

Feeling as though I should have worn a fresh pair of lederhosen, we skipped up the main street of Hahndorf taking in beer halls, signs for various 'worsts' and locals walking their fur-babies.

Dairy and Dryers.

Cafe Assiette was our coffee spot of choice. I soon found myself with a goldmine of things to share with you. Serendipitously, there were raw vegan treats. We picked out a chocolate- hazelnut slice that was moist, not overly rich, with a lovely creamy texture. I loved the two little nuts on top. Scrumptious!

Two mugs came out with our coffee. The waitress looked at our table number and plopped down the drinks. I thanked her and she moved on. Hayley returned from the bathroom and stirred in the sugar and had a sip. I was busy trying to work out why I had copious amounts of foam on my flat white.

The waitress fucked up.

Inadvertently, we had been given the wrong order. I went to make it known as another staff member came over to our table apologising for the mistake while I calmed her and politely accepted the new cups. After swallowing a mouthful, I think Hayley was ready to pick a fight with the girl. And to be honest, had either of us been allegic to dairy, it could have been a day spent in digestive agony dying of dehydration by diarrhoea.

What the hugger-fluff is with all this foam?

We were plonked next to a crackling fireplace which was just so quaint. People around us were all quietly commenting on the ambiance, while children were leaving with their parents clasping half-full bottles of lemonade as they flicked their hair from their faces.

I don't make a habit of talking about a business's toilet unless there's a reason for it.

As I went to wash my hands, I noticed two taps. Cold days necessitate the need for hot water. What I think is most valuable however, is the unappreciated cold tap needed as part of the first aid treatment to soothe your hands after burning the shit out of them with what you were hoping was going to be a kind respite from the chilly weather. You were wrong.

A simple _twenty-first century _mixer is preferrable to having to choose between icy or scalding.

I had never fully appreciated the placement of a hand dryer in a bathroom.

After removing the suds from my hands, I noticed a sign explaining the hand dryer was located in the hallway. I unlatched and opened the door with my dripping hands and spotted the dryer - next to a blond-haired woman's head who was waiting for the female toilet to become free in the corner of the hall. I pretended she was a part of the furnture as I lifted my hands up and felt the wheezing air gently wafting out of this asthmatic machine. Water dripped down my forearms as both if us averted our gaze. I stayed there pretending the dryer was working for the best part of twenty seconds, each longer than the last. When I left, I could have sworn I heard her exhale in relief.

Beerenberg Strawberry Farm is a ten or fifteen minute walk up the road from the main street of Hahndorf.

Pay $4 and stuff your face.

If you delight in fresh fruit in a 'choose your own adventure' style of grocery shopping in gumboots, this is a must.

We paid $4 each for our fluoro wrist bands to gain access to the strawberry fields and an empty plastic container. You're supposed to "taste one or two" and return to weigh the others you picked. Because I am a child, I ate strawberries like it was my last day on Earth and almost vomited. I rummaged through the plants, plucked bright red, fresh gems and gobbled them up. It was a simple process. Somehow, the occasional strawberry made it into the tub for purchase.

Everything Vegan is a grocery store cum cafe for the ethically conscious consumer.

Bicycling out to EV, Hayley and I wrapped our chompers around a lentil and corn pie slathered in tomato sauce and monstered down an entire packet of vegan jerky in the last minutes of the cafe's trading hours. As a massive jerky lover, I bought four other flavours, but of a different brand. I pondered how much additional variability and opportunity to stand out plant-based jerky has over the meat versions. I've been astounded as to how different all brands of vegan jerky have been to each other depending on the plant protein used, the processing methods, not to mention added flavours.

If these manage to remain uneaten until we get the camper, it will be a miracle.

All the best,

Nick.

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