How Traveling Made Me a Narcissist

Traveling is wonderful! Whatever travel experience you face, it will broaden your horizons and transform you in some positive way. Seeing the world makes you put yourself in perspective, and eventually you'd become more humble and more appreciating towards what you have -- simply put, a more open-minded human being. Who wouldn’t agree on that? But is it really that straightforward, or are there some possible threats to your personality when long-term traveling?

The implication is clear here -- to me, a long-term travel experience wasn't that unconditional.

Let’s talk definitions.

A narcissist is a person who feels entitled, who is constantly seeking validation and who has lack of empathy for others. And, most importantly, narcissists are not born this way, but rather made by their environment.

Traveling with a motorcycle, especially in the Middle East and South-East Asia, will draw you inevitably into the center of attention. Wow, a world traveler! With a big motorcycle! This attentions surely has some benefits. Passing military check posts, crossing borders, checking into guest houses — it always makes you the special guest. People are a little more friendly to you, you seldomly need to wait, and if you do stand in line, more often than not you will get waved in front. Who doesn’t want to be friends with a world traveler?

Me, me, me

You are getting used to receiving a VIP treatment, to everybody asking you to be Facebook friends or to take pictures with you. Feeling entitled: check. At first, your story would seem much more interesting than the other’s, so the conversation is usually about… you. “How long have you traveled? Which countries did you visit? Tell me about your bike”, and so on. Feeling popular becomes the default state. Talking about yourself becomes the default habit. Lack of empathy for others: check. Sometimes, people just look at me in expectation. More often than not, I would find myself bringing up another thing about my travels, rather than asking about the other. Seeking validation: check.

The Westerner factor

I would love to write that people don’t judge by your ethnicity, but they do. Being a Westerner surely helped me a lot, when people would just assume from my looks that I am successful, rich, or worthy to get to know. If one wants to talk extremes, it is a positive kind of racism that is present in the Eastern part of the world, and the reason is, well… history and media. In this particular case, it doesn’t do any harm, but it still leaves the strange taste of getting something that you didn’t earn. And that is only on the conscious level. Let’s suppose you are a Westerner, traveling or living in the East, for months or years. What does the constant entitlement do to your subconscious?

The unknown superstar

Being perceived as a rugged adventurer from the West has helped me big time. Workshops usually let me work at their place for free, people invite me for meals or to their homes.
Sometimes, I find myself in situations of having a concern and then being told that someone cannot help me. Being so used to people going out of their way to help me find a solution and being overly friendly and interested, I easily get disappointed if people brush me off, or there is no perfect solution to my concern. If everything has worked so smoothly up to here, how can this hostel not even have a space for my sleeping bag? Why does this workshop not have a space to work for me?
The key here seems to stay mindful about one’s self-image and underlying expectations. It’s perfectly normal that there is not always an immediate solution, and sometimes people are busy with their own life or focused on something else.

Staying mindful

The good thing that comes with traveling and the ever-changing environment then is that there is a lot events for reflecting upon oneself.

Saying that I would be a full-time narcissist would be too much. However, long-term travel in the East, as a Westerner and on a motorcycle surely provides a feeling of entitlement and has the potential of adding to a narcissist’s world view. So to me, becoming humble and void of expectations is not an automatism when on the road for a long time. It rather is important to consciously deal with the travel experience and to stay mindful about one’s own thoughts, feelings and perception of oneself.

Thanks a lot for reading. Do let me know if you can relate to this, or whether your own (long-term) travel experience might be somewhat similar.