Meister's Journey: Chapter 2: Meet the new me Swami Sri Rama Bhutesha Premananda

meister (53)in #travel • 8 years ago

People who know me were shocked when they saw me like this. Hair on my head that my balding friend enviously used to refer to as the „crown on my head“: gone. My beard, a former trade mark of mine: Gone. Skinnier face than usually and also overall I had dropped weight. „You look like you got cancer!“ Friends and family members were sincerely worried. But the truth is: When I took this picture on my new birthday, the 29th of February, I felt better than ever! Let me guide you through the journey of how I got there.

Recognizing Mahamaya

I was fed up. Seriously fed up. I couldn't take all the bullshit anymore. My entire life I have had this inner restlessness, sometimes even the notion that something is not the way it is supposed to be. Still, I kept on going, suppressing this feeling that something is terribly wrong here. And for a long time, I managed to keep this feeling under the surface. But life taught me, the more you suppress something, the more it'll come back to haunt you.

I started to question everything and conclusively nothing made sense anymore. I had the aim to become a teacher. As a historian I would shape the leaders of the future into critical thinkers who with the knowledge of the past would make the world of tomorrow a better place. I soon found out that the education system has nothing to do with creating critical thinkers but it's mere purpose is to turn the masses into a uniform pile of regurgitating zombies. And what we think history is is just another form of propaganda portrayed as truth. I seriously couldn't take it anymore being surrounded by stupid people constantly attached to their smart phones who had nothing better to do than to live their mediocre, essentially life-less life, spending most of their time doing a job they hate and most of their spare time engaging in a never ending display of superficialities to earn instant gratification by people they don't even know or – when honestly asked – don't even care about. I later came to know that the Hindu religion refers to this world of meaningless distractions as „the big Illusion“ or „Mahamaya“. Anyway, I had to get the fuck out of there and I only had one destination: India, more precisely the Babaji Ashram Haidakhan in the Himalayans.

Chewing on his nuts

For some reason the idea of going to a retreat or so called Ashram in India has been floating around in my head for quite a while. It seemed intriguing, a romantic idea to spend a signifant amount of time at the cradle of spirituality. I didn't know where to go exactly though. Until I met a stranger...

I knew that in the deepest level of truth every decision is either guided by love or fear. So on that one fateful night in October 2015 I was munching some walnuts waiting for the train and I asked myself: Why don't you practice what you preach, live love and as an act of love offer your nuts to that guy sitting next to you? So I offered him my nuts and he was positively surprised and gladly accepted the offer to put my nuts in his mouth. The real fun started when he offered me his nuts. I know, it sounds way more naughty than it was in reality. As it turned out he had been to India. Right before he had to run for the train, he recommended „Haidakhan“ as a quiet place to meditate to me. I did some research on the internet and found the Babaji Ashram in Haidakhan with the core principles of Truth, Simplicity and Love. I knew I was going to go there.

A fresh tourist has just landed

Not knowing whether I would ever return to my home country I left for India (for a better understanding read Chapter 1: https://steemit.com/blog/@meister/meister-s-journey-chapter-1). I was on a journey to find complete trust in the universe. There was a possibility that I would find that trust and go back to my family or I would stay in India and meditate somewhere, living as a monk til the end of my life.

On my arrival at the airport in Delhi there were already a handful of taxi drivers approaching me in a rather intrusive manner. Fortunately I spotted a young indian with a sign that had my name written on it. So I shook off the rather obnoxious crowd of taxi drivers that followed me in the hopes of hitting the jack-pot and driving a tourist through Delhi. I was aware of the the dubious reputation of Delhi's taxi drivers, but only stories by people I met at a later point made me realize the dimension of the corruption. This will be covered in a later chapter.

I accompanied the young man, still not sure if this wasn't the first rip-off. Although I knew that being here in India was the right choice, I felt terribly insecure and felt that if I gave too much trust to the wrong person I could very easily and very soon end up robbed, naked, sexually abused, my kidneys removed and sold on the black market, alone, helpless, lying on the streets somewhere in a third world country. As you can tell, my imagination was running wild. Still, he was the guy with the sign with my name on it! I had contacted him through the Babaji Ashram website to drive me all the way to my final destination. How bad can it really get? I hoped for the best, but had no clue...

On the highway to hell

He got me into his car. Rather cheap one, but it seemed to be well functioning. After all, what would I expect? I was in fucking India? We left the airport and drove through a beautiful area. A boulevard with magnificent trees to the left and luxurious palace-like buildings to the right. Then it changed. Suddenly the extremest poverty imaginable surrounded us. And he pulled over. He suggested that I should go to the ATM and get out some money for the gasoline. And that's what I did. He waited in the car, I ran in paranoia mode across the street expecting to be attacked at any time by man, car or grizzly bear (don't ask me why, I was really out of my mind). I reached the ATM and saw homeless people sleeping right in front of it. I managed to withdraw the money and ran back to the taxi. Nothing had happened.

He actually seemed very nice, not at all like someone who would poison you and sell your kidneys on the black market. Worst case he would sell one of your kidneys. However I figured out quite soon that driving on an indian highway has nothing to do with driving where I'm from. There are basically no rules. He would occasionally switch to the wrong lane where cars drove past into the other direction. Bear in mind it was the middle of the night. I came to India to gain trust in the universe. And there I was, this was the perfect time to either trust the universe or loose your mind completely. I remained calm. For most of the time. Well, I tried to remain calm. I really doubt that I made a perfectly calm impression, since there was this constant Bollywood Disco-Techno Mix in the car that bugged the crap out of me.

Whenever he seemed to be closing his eyes while driving I would get nervous. As that happened I touched his arm to see if he was still there. He was never really asleep, but how the hell could I tell? That one time he drove full speed ahead and nearly hit a truck coming from the sideroad. I was freaking out inside, but he – just as if nothing had happened – closed his eyes again. I learnt an early lesson there. SHANTI. Feel that peace and quiet inside, no matter what happens around you.

Reaching my final destination

In the rare moments when I didn't stare at the road, my eyes wide open to spot any obstacle that could end my life the next moment, I thought of the things I wanted to see in India. And although I only had one destination which was the Babaji Ashram in Haidakhan, I remembered a friend of mine who recommended a holy mountain in the indian Himalayas to me. Its name was Mount Kailash. When he told me about the mountain, I felt intrigued by it. Apparently it is a special mountain and walking up there could give you enlightenment. Enlightenment. Definitely something I was looking for... Before leaving for India I tried to find out where that mountain was, but my google research didn't deliver any satisfactory results. Only Mount Kailash in Tibet appeared on my Google search site and that mountain can not even be climbed by Tibetans, so no chance for an ill-prepared western-european boy. So, I guess this destination just isn't meant to be. But anyway, my only goal was to reach Haidakhan. Preferably alive. So I kept my eyes on the road making sure that my driver wouldn't fail to take any possible obstacles into account. And there are more than you might think. Monkeys, donkeys, cows are factors that someone coming from a western-european country doesn't necessarily takes into consideration.

Then, finally after an 8 hours drive straight from Delhi Airport we arrived in Haidakhan. I was overjoyed! This was going to be the place where I would spend the next weeks, maybe the next months and possibly the rest of my life. And I made it here alive! It was morning again and the taxi driver lead me into the complex that was the Babaji Ashram. And he pointed towards what first seemed to be some clouds.