Travel with me #2: Dating A Chinese Girl - DOs & DON’Ts
I wasn’t sure whether I should write an article about this but I figured for everyone out there who wants to travel China or perhaps is interested in Chinese girls/women but does not know how to approach them, this could be a big help!
Now, first of all, China is much more conservative than most countries in the West. Chinese girls have 2-3 boyfriends before they marry in their early twenties. So, a Chinese girl is not your typical Western girl that has many boyfriends before she marries.
There are three things you need to be aware of. Young Chinese girls (15-20 years old) care very much about the look of the person they’re dating. You don’t need to be muscular but first and foremost thin. If you have a gram of fat, you are already in most cases considered as 胖 (pang), which means fat. I had that problem for a long time until I lost a lot of weight (which I now gained again) until I was thin and considered 帅 (shuai), which means handsome.
Chinese girls older than twenty years care (especially before they marry) about the financial situation of the partner. Money gets you a lot of places in China and makes you definitely more attractive. You might not like this concept but that’s pretty much how it is and has always been in China. All the nerds out there (to whom I count myself): DON’T WORRY! Intelligence is attractive! Chinese girls look for more than just looks. They don’t just care about the looks or the money but often also the intelligence of their partner, much more than Western women do.
In China, you will not see the typical thug dating the most beautiful girl in school but rather the best looking, or most intelligent or most wealthy guy will date the most beautiful girl.
If you now say: I AM ALL OF THAT, then congrats! Nevertheless, Chinese women are not easy and often do not even find Western men attractive (nevertheless, Chinese men adore Western women).
What are the places to take a Chinese women? Well, if she still is quite young and lives with her parents, you have to ask her parents first whether you are allowed to go out with her. Nevertheless, this does not apply in every case. More and more families especially in metropolitan areas recently became more modern and let their daughters decide.
But, if the parents invite you, be sure to take a present with you!
If she doesn’t live at home anymore, it is common to take the girl to a restaurant or to go out and 玩 (play) which basically just means to hang out.
But here are my personal experiences with dating Chinese girls. My later girlfriend 雨润 (Yurun) and I met the first time in school. She was the fastest runner of the school I attended (and now serves in the Chinese Olympia team). At that time, I had gained a lot of weight and was thus not attractive to Chinese girls at all. She became my motivation to loose 20kg (and actually also was one of the reasons why I started my business Teaching Hero). I tried to tell her via the Chinese social media app WeChat that I liked her. At that time I didn’t speak any Chinese. So I tried it in Englisch. I failed miserably. 95% of all Chinese girls don’t speak English at all. You need to know how to speak Chinese if you want to date a Chinese girl. After 6 months I tried it again, she still rejected me. After 9 months I tried it another time, she rejected me again but seemed unsure. After 12 months we started dating. Why? Because I then spoke fluent Chinese and our conversations became much more interesting and because I lost 20kg and completely changed my style. Should you do that? That’s your decision. Nevertheless, be aware that it is VERY difficult for Westerners to date Chinese girls. They like their Chinese guys, only very few have a thing for guys from the West.
I hope this article gave you insights into how to date Chinese girls. It would mean the world to me if you could upvote and comment on this article!
All the best from Beijing, China,
Leon