How Traveling Helped Me Overcome Social Anxiety
If people are trying to persuade you to go traveling, they'll probably say,
"Do it whilst you’re young."
It's a live for the moment philosophy – have a good time now while you still can. This is all well and good. Traveling is a wonderful way to enjoy yourself whilst you’re young. It truly is very fun and really brings you into the present moment. This is valuable.
Surfer's Paradise - Australia
Nonetheless, I would like to offer something different. There are benefits to traveling that one might not expect. Traveling will bring you much more than the memories of what happens here. And if you do it in the right way, you’ll bring something home with you more than just great memories and an empty bank account.
Think of it this way: why do people go on adventures? Whether real life people or characters in fiction. Bilbo Baggins didn't take a trip to see the dragon for his health. He didn’t do it to create wonderful memories or to live for the moment. He did it because he was called to do it, and through it he was able to rise above himself. He was able to become a better version of himself.
Every great adventure stories like this: the hero attempts to get from A to B but has many obstacles in his path and to overcome these obstacles he must confront something with in himself. Because ultimately, it is himself that is getting in the way of his goal.
All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware.
Martin Buber
If you're looking to make traveling more than just an extended holiday, a hedonistic binge because you've got nothing better to do, maybe this is a better way to approach it: think of it as an adventure. Think of it as deliberately presenting yourself with challenges and conflicts if you like so that you have more things to tackle.
It's in the nature of travelling, and the sheer number of problems you have to solve along your journey, brings you more things to cope with that you normally wouldn’t have to encounter. Think about the most challenging situation you've been in your life – you may not necessarily want to go through it again, but you can definitely learn something from it. Just multiply that tenfold and that you have experience of traveling.
Traveling - the greatest socialization method
Take me for example. Before I went traveling, although I was aware of this problem of social anxiety. I was very uncomfortable in life social situations. I was not completely aware of all the social cues, and found that the safest route was simply to shrink away and let everyone else take control. I never really felt I could be myself and groups of people. Although I could cope with nights out, it would require large mounts of alcohol before I can really feel comfortable in my own skin.
Those of us who are not blessed with the gift of the gab and immediate social presence may still have to opportunity to become real social experts. If you're not a natural, any walk of life, you can catch up my practice. It follows that the only to be better at social situations is to practice it. What better form of practice practice and then to have repeated experience, trial and error, in the form of the countless people you meet on your travels?
The idea talking to a girl was alien me before the age of 20, let alone kiss one. I was interested in girls but it never occurred to me that one might have to make some kind of effort to connect with on in order to have the kind of relationship that I wanted.
This shyness could've been applied to every other aspect of my life as well. This could have been shyness in really hankering after my personal and career goals.
Wanaka - New Zealand
All in all, my traveling adventure was meant to help me break out of my bubble and comfort zone. This does sound like a cliche, however it is more powerful than one might expect. When you consider that social life is one of the most important aspects of human experience, to be inhibited in this aspect can really affect your life deeply.
Traveling forced me to open up. If you don't at least try to make an effort you can find yourself very lonely immediately. On the other hand, it's almost impossible not to meet people in your travels. Everyone else is in the same boat, you may find yourself among people who have similar social problems. I was just the nature of the situation that people around you are open and willing to connect. It got to a point where I was quite comfortable to go up to random people and simply ask “who are you?”
I nearly wanted to go home
When I first arrived in Australia, I immediately saw a group of about 20 young people all dressed in onesies about to go out the night out. Oh my god, I thought these people must have known each other for weeks. How my ever gonna fit in here? And I lay on my bed tossing and turning and listening to the passing around me wondering when it was a good idea to leave my house at all.
Cut to 7 days later and I was one of the same people dressed up for a night out. It’s just the nature of the beast. And if you don't get on with one set of people, there will be a new set of people come into the room in days. Bearing in mind we are not going to get on with everybody, that's the way it's meant to be, on any given trip you’re bound to meet somebody, or a group of people, that truly are on the same wavelength as you. In short, any fears of being lonely when you're traveling are almost completely unfounded. In fact it's hard enough trying to get some alone time.
The real reason you go
Those of you who are tossing up whether to go traveling or not should consider this: it's not just because you have a great time. You definitely will. But consider that you will discover something interesting about yourself, and overcome some personal hurdle that is in bottle-necking your personal progress right now. I highly recommend traveling for many reasons, and one of them is it it might just make your better person.
Awesome post! I agree, traveling has helped me overcome some of my social anxiety as well. Its also great for the soul !
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