Boulder Beach Water Park

The gates finally opened and the whole herd, us included flooded into the water park and proceeded to jockey for best seat and stuff hang out position. We got some chairs under the shade of a plum tree overlooking one of the two wave pools. It was there that we abandoned my husband to watch our stuff (we came with our neighbors). Lest you feel sorry for him, he had all the snacks, a chaise lounge, a good book, and a view of all of the wildlife that was clamoring for the pool. I think that he might have had the greatest time out of us all!

My first order of business was to be dragged onto the Riptide Racer, a 6 tube water slide that is designed for you to lose friends or make enemies. Probably a a bit of both. As we climbed four flights of stairs, curved foam mats in hand, the trash talk that was emitting around us painted the air as blue as the waters filling the many lagoons. Nothing, and I mean nothing is greater than beating your children in a high velocity water slide race. It helps to be old and stupid enough to just hurl yourself into the tube as soon as the light turns green. Driving in the inner city has yielded some skills, WOO! I annihilated those kidlets!

I was then hustled into various slides of the kind where one has to pack a tube up a few flights of stairs only to glide down in complete and utter darkness into directions unknown. I love these slides and might have went on them more than a few times.

The Lazy River is a favorite of young and old alike, especially the over 21's as there is a float up bar. As the Lazy River was more like the Intrusive Traffic Jam on the day we were there, I must admit I had a great time trying to keep my toes out of the tall mixed drink glasses that many an adult were clasping in their not too sedate hands. Between darting children, splashing teens, hand holding lovers, and the almost inebriated set, there was not too much in the way of sedate on the river. There was a gigantic bandage floating along with us. YAY CHLORINE!

One of my favorite water attractions is Avalanche Mountain. The wait is rather long, but the standing in line thing evaporates into a distant memory as you get into the big rubber raft to descend the giant fiber glass water filled tube of delight-inducing twists and turns. Plus, there is always drama to enjoy while you bake in line, teen lack of texting angst, parents trying to console unhappy youngins, older folk grumbling whilst they not-so-slowly evolve into a shade of red that's most alarming. You know, fun distracting while you wait stuff.

A favorite of a good chunk of everyone that was there was the two wave pools. When the bell went off that announced another set of body crushing waves, a cheer that rivaled a Friday Night football game after your home team scores a touchdown would fill the air.

All in all, the day was most enjoyable. However, there was one moment, an incident that will live on forever in GK infamy. I convinced the husband and daughter to float with me along the Lazy River. I had envisioned a leisurely tube, meandering with my loves in complete contentment. What I got instead was a Hawaiian immersion of the hydrating kind. You see, there are various waterfalls along the river, and as we came close to one the Hubs got this look in his eye. I know this look, it is usually reserved for mischief committed against the children. Instead I found myself being waterboarded by my own family, my daughter gleefully barking in laughter as she and my husband held my tube underneath the downpour. To make matters worse, as I am rather small in stature, I found myself in the shape of the letter V as I was sucked down into the tube. My gigantic husband, thinking that he was "helping" me grabbed my legs and lifted upward. While suspended upside down under the lazy river, I had a great view of many undersides, both tube and human alike. Apparently the two beloved family members of mine figured out that my head needed to be above the water rather than below, and I emerged from the great depths of the lazy river to a chorus of laughter from all those that surrounded us. Super.

So in closing, if you don't mind throngs of people, Boulder Beach is a fantastic place to spend a hot day. The food is great, the park is very clean and well ran, and there is no shortage of fun attractions to get cooled off in!

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