From Dusk till Dawn

I turned my head to see where that sudden voice was coming from, I don't think there is... The guy was asking if there was an extra socket to charge his phone. I recognized his face when I was hanging around the lobby of this hostel that afternoon. I came to see this village called Pisac, located outside of Cusco, Peru. I had a job in Cusco that time, and I was here for my own weekend getaway.

This is not a love story.

I kind of wished that he called me so he could see what’s behind the long and black wavy hair. I was fumbling in front of the desktop when he caught my attention. Naaaaa, I’m pretty sure he was just really asking about the power outlet. I mean, look at me, I haven’t paid attention to myself since I decided to stay in Cusco. I was not exerting any effort to dress up, put some makeup or even comb my hair. I mean what for? In this uber machismo Latino country, the last thing I wanted was to attract the local bystanders who catcall any vulnerable woman walking alone down the street. I had enough bad experiences here that I just retired to my cold room up the hill in isolation.

I crossed my legs and tossed my hair, then went back to the screen. That face is the usual someone I will never be able to talk to anyway, so he instantly faded in my memory.

There was really nothing else to do in this village at night, except if you take pleasure walking out in the cold, dark and empty streets. I actually like to do that, but alone at night here in Peru? And risk being harassed again, no thank you.

I came back to the kitchen after watching a film with other travelers, I was pretty high from the smoke being passed around the hostel. I saw this angelic face again and I was being funny. We sat on the dinner table and chatted for a bit.

I’m from Spain, he said.

I will go there in 8 months, maybe.

What are you doing in Cusco? That’s a long time! He exclaimed.

I know. I am working so I can continue traveling. But I’ll see how it goes.

I went back to the ancient-looking dorm of the hostel in my attempt to fade him again into oblivion. I just needed a little slice of death to forget all this madness. I was awakened suddenly when someone entered the room. I saw through my blurry vision this man stripping down to his boxers right across me. It turned out he was in the same dorm. I went back to my deep slumber and died again.

That morning as I was preparing to go to the centro, I saw him again. I told him I was going to the swimming pool up the hill. And it was my way of saying, you should come. But good thing I didn’t, as he was going to some other place. I guess I am too old to be so shy. We said goodbye and he said we would see each other again in Cusco. Without any effort on his side, I just took it as a sign to shamelessly give my contact information to him. I was tired of this whole thing. I went to swim away from it all to drown my sorrow.

One night, I was lying on my bed as I enjoyed the panoramic view of Cusco lit up. The hills were filled with the dust of lights that seemed magical from my viewpoint. I chose a good place to stay here while I tried to recover from my South American journey. I was tired.

A message came out of nowhere. It was the guy from the hostel in Pisac. I was quite surprised but I admit that it made me really happy. A crack of a smile etched itself into my cold face, I was officially infatuated! My feelings were not dead and not yet gone.

But I refused his invitation to go out that night as I was tired from the other night’s party of my friends in Cusco. This was the thing about this city, I was not alone here. I get invited to events here and there. We agreed to meet early in the afternoon the next day as I was also meeting some couchsurfer friends.

I met some other friends at the plaza as we waited for him. I glanced around and saw him emerging from a distance, carrying a guitar on his back that made him look more interesting in my eyes. He slowly approached me, and the whole world suddenly faded into the background. That scene was unforgettable. We quickly hugged each other and I explained to him our activity for that day.

With an Argentinian friend, we ate some cheap lunch together at this Cusco’s famous local market. We went to this hostel where the Argentinean guy was volunteering and had some little jam session. I was trying to remember how to play guitar as I tried to recall the chords of this old song by Nirvana. He approached me and gently clasped my right hand to guide me with the strumming. My heart was pounding.

We met other Argentinian friends from the hostel and spent that night walking on the crowded streets looking for cheap food while having a good laugh. I knew that he was paying attention to my particularly weird sense of humor as I recalled my infamous jokes I used to tell other travelers. I couldn’t forget his smile.

There was this rock gig in a small bar up the hill we went to that night, with a local band playing some Rolling Stones cover. I finally withdrew from the crazy crowd after all that wild singing. I was definitely at my happiest. I saw him through the colorful beams of lights, frozen in the midst of the crowd. I felt his steady gaze, and his eyes lingered on me for a few seconds. It was like being hit or knocked over by him.

The steep cobbled streets of Cusco became alive that night as we walked and sang Manu Chao’s Clandestino. Our group was down to three late that night. We went to another bar with a grunge band playing some cover songs that I really liked.

I listened to him as if it was the last moment, then there was an open mic that time and I was tipsy enough to accept the challenge. I dreamed to be in a band, and I wanted to at least experience it at some point. He touched the curve of my back and told me to go for it.

With liquid courage, I shamelessly went up the stage and snatched the electric guitar. I played the Nirvana song I was practicing that afternoon. It was pretty crazy as I heard the people cheered. The crowd applauded, and I ran back to him after that brief antic. I buried my head into his chest to forget about what I just did and to hide from the rest of the world. He welcomed me in his arms. Wow, you were really good! Really good! I could see in his eyes the sincerity. And perhaps, he was really proud of me.

The conversation continued over cheap street hamburgers to cure the hunger pangs brought about by the all night bar hopping. It was just me and him at the crack of dawn. We finally sat down by the plaza where we met the day before. We tried to take care of each in those fleeting moments. I felt connected to someone even up to this dreaded moment. I just breathed in the familiar cold air as I listened to his advice. His voice was music to my ears. It was his last day in Cusco and he told me that he will see me somewhere again, who knows? I heard this all before.

I felt him breaking my chest slowly now. It was hard to breathe, my fragile heart was shattered into pieces. I was slowly sinking back to reality. Things cannot be reversed. We were both in silence, wide-eyed.

The sun was reappearing behind the Andes, my skin was melting. It was time for me to go back to my coffin, back to immortality. He gently wrapped his arms around me for the last time. The world stopped for a moment.

I watched him slowly fade into the distance.