"Personal development, it seems to me, often has to take place far-removed from the dynamics and social structures one has been born and raised into. This might just involve meditation for some people. For me it involved moving 8,000 miles away"

I feel you. That healthy distance is important
Furthermore, what is a healthy distance for one person is not the same for another. I personally have started feeling a lot less guilt complex now that people are 800 miles away. You put it well too, sure there will be some good nostalgic moments but it's good to try to have healthy (to no) expectations. As you said, some conversation might fall flat in 5 minutes. This has proven all too true for me. Turns out, I am a much different person in my values, way of life, and general world view than what i "left behind. " Some people will live in your head everyday, whether for the good or bad. Hopefully the good but we all know that's a bit of a pipe dream. Letting going of the constructs those people value and the control they want to exert over our lives is key. Furthermore, you can be on anther continent and still be being controlled by the past. But certainly being on anther continent helps. Ah I have rambled a lot in this response. Your post def resonates. Hope it goes well for you and your family.