Raising Kids in a Brave New World

A lot of people ask me... Why Guatemala? The simple answer. Kids. When our first belly bean was on the way we had to decide what, where, how.
Being 2 people who met traveling and are from different countries(U.K. and U.S.).... we had a bit of a conundrum. Fairly quickly we decided we didn't want to settle in the U.S. or the U.K.
Why? Mostly the fear culture in both countries.

Stranger danger, legal educational mandates, obligatory vaccines,
social expectations of behavior and obsessive learning demands. We wanted to raise kids....not future upstanding and useful citizens of a society.

We wanted tree climbers, loud, free, open, running, jumping...fearless kids. We wanted to be away from judgment.
Guatemala provided this.

I guess others could see this and feel it reflects on them... but it has only to do with us and what we sought... we made these choices for us... how you raise your kids is yours... have at it... and fuck the judgers.... this is not a judgment of others this is a discription of our way and our choices.

I choose to be the best parent I can be.... I'm not parenting the best child I can create.

Take a split second and think about that sentence... it is a packed sentence and the meaning could be over looked if read quick.
The word parenting is a strange modern word that popped up in the 70's... it gives the impression of control... but we are merely guides on this journey of bringing up a child. Thinking we can control how our child turns out is a misconception in my view... about as silly as a gardener thinking he can control his harvest. The weather and environment controls a garden. A gardener can provide nutrient rich soil and adapt as best he can to what the environment gives... and this is about the same as we can do for our kids.
A love rich base, a constant adaption and flexibility toward a developing personality.

Basically I choose to see my role as providing good tools and not controlling behaviors. Being and giving the best me... not parenting or making the best child of me.

Kids desperately need autonomy. To take risks, and learn from the results... yet so often these days, choices are shaped, stress and fear brings out a safe and behaved child...the new polite 20th century child that gets their homework done, that studies to get a high rank on whatever test of pedagogy aptitude a given society demands of its kids, that is given an Ipad every time their behavior gets a little unruly.
The new demands and expectations on the modern child can go suck a fat one... my kids are gonna cause people to whisper behind our backs... gonna cause gasps of fear and have people telling them to come down and be careful... the kids I'm raising are gonna hurt themselves and hear me say... hmmm maybe that wasn't the best idea... maybe next time you should think twice about running backwards on an escalator.
Their choices will be theirs though and they will deal with the consequences even if we will be right there next to them dealing as well... our type of parenting is not easier.... It's not lazy parenting... it's intentional.

So when you see my kids... and you say... those kids are 'so mis-behaved'... if you were brave enough to say it to my face...
I'd respond happily. 'Thank you, it's a lot of work having such perfect wildlings!'

This is original writing and photography