The Craigslist Sofa

I have been in Barcelona for about a week now, and have been staying in hostels or with a friend whilst I find a more permanent housing option during my stay. Sleep has been elusive as Hostels are not so great for deep slumber. My greatest desire right now is to find my own place to some alone time.

In an attempt to try something new I checked craigslist to see if it was as popular in Spain for housing opportunities as it is in the States. Turns out, yes it is. From long term room rentals to one night stays, you can find it all.

I came across a post titled "comfy sofa in nice neighborhood, 15 Euro per night"

This seemed cheap and the possibility of staying in a new area and possibly having a new friend and experience made me go for it!

After a few short emails with a man we will can "Thomas" we had decided that I would check into the apartment at 6 P.M. and leave the apartment by 11 A.M the next day. I spent the first half of the day collecting footage for a future project about the Barcelona street art, and proceeded in the direction of the apartment. Once there I was buzzed in and met "Thomas".

He was a man who appeared to be in his early forties, whom I found out lived alone. After meeting his veracious cat " El Tigre" whom Thomas described as more dog than cat, he informed me that he had lost his restaurant job and was renting out rooms and shabby furniture out to craigslist renters to make some extra cash. I was told that one other person would be sharing the apartment with me named "Juan", and that he would most likely not be home until very late.

Thomas and I seemed to get along well but didn't talk to much. I began to research more permanent housing options on local listings while Thomas sat outside and chain-smoked while doing something on his tablet out on the patio.

After about an hour Thomas gave me a pair of keys and told me that he would be leaving for a few hours and told me to use the keys if I needed to head out.

Thomas came back after a few hours to find me still clicking away at my keyboard. "Still working, Ey?"

"yeah I need to find and apartment as soon as possible"

"o.k. well I am going to go stay at my mothers place tonight so you and Juan can have the place to yourselves. I will see you in the morning"

Thomas left and after some extensive researching and emailing, I turned in for the night. Turning off the lights and trying to wipe as much cat hair off of the sofa, I tried to ignore the fact that my whole body was itching and all I could smell was cat piss. Oh sweet ammonia.

Those pre-sleep waking dreams began to take hold of my visual cortex, after I fought El Tigre from my sleeping quarters.

I am not sure what time it was when the first door slammed. Here enters Juan, through the darkly lit apartment. His figure briefly paused next to the sofa before he entered the bedroom. I pretended to be asleep so as to not have to introduce myself and ruin my meditative state. I tried to follow the sleeping seductress back into my dreams but, "ugh, ugh, ugh", the coughing sounds of a Peruvian chef who had been smoking since birth echoed through the strange apartment. And again, and again and again. Shortly after, a loud phone conversation. Then another.

After a while the door opened and shed light into the living room where I lay. "hola!"

I pretended to have been just awoken "hola", I replied dreading having to completely throw away the work I had done in trying to fall asleep in this strangers home.

Unintelligible Spanish followed for a few moments.

"Pardon, muy poquito Espanol" I tried to explain

Even louder Spanish I did not understand. Juan sat on the coffee table next to the sofa. It was apparent he wanted a conversation.

After a few moments of awkward Spanglish I had explained that I was from the United States and that I was trying to fall asleep. " yo dormir, yo dormir"

"Ah. . . .Bailar? Tu Bailar? He wanted to know if I danced.

"um, Si?" I responded, wondering what the fuck was going on.

"Disco-techa?"

"uhhh. . . Si?" I had no idea what to say. I figured if I talked to him for a bit he might be satisfied and let me go to bed

"ah. . .Tu guy?"

"Que?"

"are you guy?"

"Um, yeah I am a guy"

"Donde es boyfriend?

"my boyfriend?

"Si! in America?"

It had dawned on me that he wasn't asking if I was a guy but, gay. A few days ago was gay pride festival in Barcelona, so I wonder if he thought I was there for the festivities as almost all the hostels in town were completely booked from tourists specifically for the festivities. I learned that the hard way when a few days prior I could not find a single goddamn hostel room available.

"oh no, no. I am not gay!" I tried to chuckle off the misunderstanding.

" you are not guy?

"no, no I like women" realizing how forward he was being with his curiosity about my sexuality.

"Donde es girlfriend?"

"home! Estados Unidos!"

"ah, Bailar?"

"um, yes we dance" (we don't and she's not real.)

"O.K." He proceeded to stare at me through the darkness.

"Ummm. So, Yo dormir" He stared blankly at me. I motioned my hands next to my head. "Dormir. . . Yo Dormir"

"ah tu, Dormir." He then stood up and began walking towards his room "Buenos, Noches"

"Hasta Luego" I replied.

He procceded to go back to his room and after a few moments started yet another loud phone conversation.

After that Things were quiet for a while, and I began to feel sleepy again. I would have fallen asleep if it wasn't for a door that kept opening and slamming somewhere in the apartment due to a draft of air coming in and out of the apartment.

Waking dreams of being back in high school and realizing I wasn't going to graduate filled my mindscape, until they were interrupted by two figures walking through the living room past my sofa. It appeared that Juan had found a friend and brought him back home to the apartment. After entering the bedroom, music and fervent unzipping of zippers were audible. "this horny bastard" I thought.

After a surprisingly short amount of time the two men left the apartment in a rush. I sat there wide awake now, pondering what to do. I obviously wasn't going to fall back asleep. This could go on for hours. Juan could be back and forth with multiple male companions. Do I stay here and atleast enjoy having a roof over my head, or do I brave Barcelona at 4 a.m. with all the drunken tourists.

Another door slammed from the gust of wind. El Tigre began to rub himself all over my stuff, and a baby cried out in the courtyard. "yup" drunken tourists it is! I quickly grabbed the rest of my belongings, gave El Tigre one last head scratch and bolted out of the apartment, not feeling to bad about the 15 Euros I had spent.

I have been wandering the streets of Barcelona all night thinking about these chain of events. What was learned, where did I go wrong and how to not end up on a strangers sofa in a foreign country again, having a stranger try to get into my pants.

I hope you enjoyed the read. This story literally just happened a few hours ago. Hopefully I will have a place of my own soon, so as to not have to many stories similar to this. Although I am happy Juan was able to find someone last night :)

I want to add that both of these guy were very sweet and neither seemed to have ill intent, nor do I have a problem with Juan being gay, nor possibly being interested in my if I were too. The reason I told this story is because all I wanted was a nice quiet place to sleep and that was the last this I got. Still haven't slept yet. . . .