The truth behind being a nomad, or: How it is to not belong anywhere, and yet be part of everywhere.
It was in September 2016 when I left my hometown. The satiety of everydayness and the boredom out of routine were too much for me to endure.
Since 2011 I dreamt of wandering without direction and with no rush whatsoever, but certain college education, that high paying job, a girlfriend who didn´t share my traveling agenda, countless debts and one a bit of a coward Eric kept stopping me from taking that step into the so longed uncertain destiny.
However, in the blink of an eye my reality changes, all those factors that were stopping me, they all vanished at pretty much the same time, and the strength of the thought I don´t have anything pulling me back, I don´t need to stay put in my city was too much for me to ignore.
It was Now or Never.
I went for Now>. From that moment on, all of my days are now. I don´t worry about the future and I don´t allow the past to follow me around - oh well, at least I try, but I don´t succeed all the time -, but this post is not about the way I live while traveling, what I want to express this time is very different.
This post is about the struggle and at the same time easiness of not belonging anywhere and yet, belong everywhere.
When I started to long term travel, I didn´t understand the seriousness of emotional closeness, I didn´t know how essential is that sense of belonging that we as humans need. We are social animals, the need of being part of a group is engraved on our species DNA and no matter how hard someone tries todeny it, the happiness we get when feeling accepted, loved and considered is one of the most powerful motors in life.
There are men who always play domino with their pals on thursday; some dudes go play football every saturday with the bros; some others attend the same bar every friday to meet the gang; we have those who practice their favorite hobby with the pals every wednesday... anyway, I could go on but I think you get the point. A few years ago I read about the psychological effect this has on a man´s psyche: being part of a group of friends where you can share and unload some burdens between men is one of the most important things in life, it actually helps us to cope and to be happier, it allows us to not loose our minds.
In my case, being constantly on the run and moving from town to town, from city to city - I think I´ve probably been to more than 100 towns/cities in the past year -, to meet so many people with which you connect on a different level, to experience so many new emotions, unknown sensations but mostly, to get to know yourself a bit more every day, has me 100% convinced that I made the right choice to take that step forward into adventure.
If you´ve been reading my blog, you know it is not about traveling, it is about adventure, no matter the where. Constant adventure fulfills me, but that doesn´t mean it is easy to have a lifestyle like that.
It´s not easy because, when you decide to change hometowns every 3-5 days, you end up not belonging anywhere and not being part of any social group.
That constant movement denies you the possibility of rooting, it doesn´t allow you to have friends who knows you better than yourself, you can´t speak about your daily problems/achievements with anyone and your conversations with strangers are very limited - a few days ago I had a very nice and intense conversation that went from 8 pm to 4 am... Do you want to know how long has it been since I had one of those?
Puting down roots, to make friends, have DMC´s (Deep meaningful conversations)... I don´t do that while I travel, in fact I avoid it at all cost, because after traveling for a while, you realize that to do all those things is to suffer and put your heart in pain. So I avoid it - but I can´t always succeed -, being a nomad does not get along with feeling like you belong, they just don´t, they are enemies like Ukraine and Russia.
When I started to travel I didn´t know this would happen. You should´ve seen how many times I suffered when leaving a magical town, a new friend, a short but intense love, a place where I felt like home at least for a few minutes... anyway, to have to pull the roots hurts - even if the roots are small -, but with time you learn to enjoy now and to get the most out of it, without thinking about anything else.
To be clear, to be emotionally unatached* doesn´t mean to not enjoy life at its fullest, to trust in people, to care about others, it just means that the here and now is more important than everything else. To focus in experiencing without that fear of loss, whether it may be a place, a friend, a feeling, a girl, a sensation or whatever, to focus on this, is the key for not feeling nostalgia while your trip goes on.
*not to be confused with detached. Detached means you don´t really cope with sentiments, unatached is that you choose to not get involved with them, but you DO feel them,
This doesn´t mean I don´t engage, it just means I engage so much everywhere I go and focus on here and now, that I don´t have time to miss the past. On the other hand, I´ve found in myself the best sidekick, the best person to have a conversation with, the best lover - no, I don´t mean touching myself, you dirty minded steemian -, I mean, when you learn to love yourself, to accept yourself as you are, to continue to know yourself everyday, to be able to be with only your thoughts for hours at a time, having conversations with your alter-ego, is when the here and now starts. I´m not saying I don´t need friend, love or feeling like I belong... every time iI have the chance and I can afford to suffer, I will dig in my roots, even when I know it will hurt, I just don´t do it as often as before.
Achieving this... well, I haven´t achieved anything who am I kidding, this is not something you achieve, you just move forward, you never stop learning and growing in the path of life, but what I´ve learnt so far, taught me how to leave a small piece of me behind in every place I go, every conversation I have, every kiss I give, on every place I felt happy in, in those moments where I felt something new. At the same time, I take a piece of them with me, I carry it with me very close to my heart and when I remember it, a smile is drawn in my face.
That way, it is amazing not belonging anywhere and at the same time, being part of everywhere... not missing of feeling nostalgia, because if I do that, then it becomes there and yesterday... if I find myself thinking of the past, all I have to say to me is...
I don’t travel as much as you do, and i am sure you are right about all these consecuences of traveling for that long.
But, i came to realize when traveling... that when you do so, you find a part of yourself that usually isn’t there when in the routine. When in the routine you already have all these friends and connections and things to do, you settle and stop connecting with others.
So, when you walk down the street ( the one you’ve walked a million times ) you don’t look around to see who’s there . When in a bar with your friends, you are having so much fun with them already, you probably won’t care about all the other people who’s there and you would probably like too, but you don’t need more friends so you ignore them.
When traveling you are eager to experience new things and learn about a new culture, a new language. You open yourself up to every possibility and every person you find along the way. That is a magical feeling, because you are giving yourself the possibility to connect with others without judgement even. People you would’ve never given the chance to approach you when in the routine turned out to be fascinating and even though you’ve met them only for a couple hours/days/ weeks you connected with them in such a magical way, you feel you’ve known them all your life. And even after your trip is done you keep being friends with them from the distance and your connection was so strong you actually feel like they are a big part of you now.
My point with all this is... When doing so with people all over, i would assume you end up with a bunch of friends everywhere and feeling like your home is the whole world.
Or does the excitement of meeting new people and learning from them vanishes after a while of traveling so much?
hmmmm I can relate to a lot of what you type.... my impetus to travel initially was much like yours. It came from a deep feeling that i wanted to move and experience. I wanted to see and taste and Go and not be held back! I do remember some feelings too of being bored with my current circumstance. bored with the people, the place, etc...
and also...
I know it is helpful for the psyche- but how do they do that? Ini and I were having a conversation the other day about that sort of thing- the sameness, the comfort... and I was really struggling with it. How do people see the same people, the same places, do the same things, show up for that same game of cards "How are you doing my friend?" "Oh alright.." and so on and so on for their entire lives?! Ah I am not built that way and I do not understand it.
I started my rooting process on my homestead because of many of the downside of the travel lifestyle aspects that you bring up. for me, there was this feeling like i was getting tired of the newness. it's two sides of the same coin, i think. now i have been rooting for 2 years and I can feel myself thinking... mmmmm it would be nice to be anonymous again, to travel at a moment's notice, be completely in the Here and Now with New sights and experiences and people, etc...
It is harder for me to stay in one place, that is for sure, but only in two years and I have some closer friends than I've ever had. I think it is good for my personality to develop these types of friendships and even go through the cycles of boredom!
Each person has their own story and their own way to balance these feelings of rooting and moving, connecting for long term and these bombastic short encounters that they'll never forget. isn't that amazing how time works that way- you can know someone for 20 years and perhaps someone you just met half an hour ago has impacted you just as much. Wow..... thanks for sharing <3... I think it's ok to feel the boredom and the missing and the loneliness.. all of it, as
it's all a part of the rich rich journey <3
Nice post - I'm wondering whether I should do a 'nomadic stint' at some point soon.... before I settle down properly and do the whole homesteading thing (the two don't really go together... travel, and homesteading!).
I'm really in two minds TBH, as you say, there are pros and cons. I'm also trying to decide (if I go) whether I go global and just backpack, or maybe convert a van and just stick to Europe, or I'm also toying with the idea of a bike.... there's something very appealing about the latter, it seems like a nice compromise, and I've always fancied a rohloff.
There was a great line I heard about the trick to cycling around the world: 'no push, only pedal'. (As in 'not push the bike, but not 'push on the pedal' in the sense of 'trying to get somewhere'.) I guess this applies to any mode of transport while travelling.
I also think I need to learn to live unrooted before I put down 'permanent roots' and morph into my garden permaculture style in my 50s/60/70s/80s - until I eventually literally morph back into the earth!
Thanks for the honesty!
Well as Turkish people we posses the nomad culture in us but I'm having hard time to move my ass eventhough I want to live and travel , it was a full reading experience hopefully I can change mylifestyle something close to this in the close future after I fully become financially independent.
its always possible to do in doses, small steps forward. and if its really something you want, youll find the right amount for you. :) good luck to us all in this journey of life
This is one of my favourite blogs of yours.
No roots is the 'price' you pay for freedom - up to you to decide which you want more.
Great piece!
I really understand you when you speak of love to him and fellowship with him. It is a great happiness to be a self-sufficient person, when you are independent from the opinions of others, from their assessment and their society. This is a real inner freedom. Such people never experience boredom alone. I am also one of those people. And I've been going to this condition. But it's worth the job. I am my own best support and assistant. Excellent post.
I have always wondered about your handle here and this post gives me an insight on why you are a nomad soul.
There was a time that wanderlust bit me and I traveled. I backpacked for a bit and you do create bonds with people that you meet. Some have become life long friends. Some you remember fondly but doesn't necessarily want to get back to them.
I liked what you said about us humans needing to socialize and creadt DMC.
Very nice insight on yourself.
The more you ungrip from the "system" the more you ungrip from anxiety, pressure and all those negative feelings.
Mother earth is generous, as master @wwf says :D
Great post @anomadsoul, last couple of sentences- it is amazing not belonging anywhere and at the same time, being part of everywhere - I can very much relate to. Although I still didn’t packed my bags, I am dreaming about it. I’m sure it takes a lot of courage to make such a decision... And to be present, like you said - Be here. Now. It is exactly what Eckhart Tolle is talking about in his bestseller The power of Now. It’s great to see people who are truly living that! Thank you. 🙏🏻
@anomadsoul I sincerely wish that I could be like you.
To be able to travel to wherever I want, meet new people and make new friends.
I wish that I have the resources to carryout my heart desires however, I will keep working until such a time I'm able to earn enough money on #steemit to do so.