RE: My Diary Travelogues | The Levant | 1996 | May 15 - May 18 | Part 3 – Lebanon
Hi Barge
Such devastation in Beirut! It was illuminating to read about the beauty you found there, spliced with the more westernised cynical tone.
I love shisha. Had my own until the bulb smashed. Double apple is my favourite. What's yours?
It seems a very expensive place. Those flights! And a lot of faffing about with visas and uncertainty. I'd have been terrified.
Byblos (Papyrus → Byblos → Bible)
Thanks for that.
but also a restlessness, a dissatisfaction somehow, and I know not what! I want too much from life, I want the inexpressible, the infinite to fall into my ken, and I'm not satisfied with half-realised Truths that I'm not even sure are Truths!
Aha, the journey to truths. Nice!
The sky has cleared up, awaiting the reverse drama of sunset. It struck me in Luxor that sunsets are dramas in reverse! The bright star - the hero, slowly waning - deepening in intensity and colour and character, but disappearing, being swallowed up by a far greater depth than himself, slowly receding and finally fading away. Melancholic, but profound and emotive; more realistic and touching than a fake-happy ending of newly awakened prosperity and awareness - when all awareness seems to lead down into the all-powerful darkness, and meaninglessness2.
This is gorgeous and I'm intrigued to hear how the modern-day @barge sees it now.
Great piece of work, man!
Cheers
Anj x
Hmm, yeah apple def. my favourite and what I would always ask for. I brought one back with me from Egypt in 98, but it's long gone now! There are a couple of places in Ed. that serve shisha - nice and chilled :)
I hadn't been able to obain a Syrian visa in Cairo, so it was always going to be that way. I kinda liked it though, the uncertainty and unknown was also accompanied by a lot of spontaneity, and although I didn't fully realise it at the time, this made for a lot of interesting experiences.
Thanks Anj 😳 - I guess, starting from:
...well, for md@barge, sadness and pain seem to endure only because they remain unacknowledged (and unprocessed)...bargetheyounger hasn't looked inside - look at how he writes, there's very little emotion to be seen....the poor guy's got it all bottled up inside, so he sees it as enduring :). For MDB, happiness in a certain sense may still be an illusion 😌, however, behind it all is the spectrum opposite of Dark Meaninglessness. The experience of this Bright Significance (!?) today is at least as intense as was the experience of its opposite in the past! 🕉
You still have the shisha cafes in Ed? We had quite a few in Liverpool but they closed not long after the smoking ban. A few remained (maybe still do) but you had to sit outside in wind tunnels with a bit of tarpaulin keeping the rain off. I like shisha, but don't wanna suffer for it :D
I see how the spontaneity opens up possibilities. I drove around Europe for a bit with no fixed destination in mind. We had 2 car accidents which were pretty spontaneous :P. It was a great adventure. Yours sounds epic though. Beirut!
Looking back at your younger self with compassion. Nice. Yes, the entire spectrum is there to experience depending on where you fix your gaze, I suppose. Wish I knew :D
cheers
Anj :)
Oh yes, still a few places to smoke shisha here, but same as Liverpool - have to sit outside. Best in sunny weather of course :)
LOL at spontaneous accidents, but oops :(
Sounds like you're close to/or have given up thinking that the finding is possible? Dunno if I'm reading it right, but just to say that you can find out if you really want, it's all there, laid out in multi-colour..........all there Anj :)
All where? Gimme a map :D
I haven't given up looking. You know how it is -- distractions, habits, repetition, eBay... I look, think there's something there, look away for a fraction of a second, it's gone.
:D
Hmmmmmm, what can I say? 😏
Lol. I probably need to shroom :D
...sure....and how about another 'M'...editation? Also said to be the cure for all ailments - quote being ascribed to ET (not the German dude) again :D
Ah meditation. I've tried that so many times. Failed. My mind won't stay still at all.
ET is so wise :D