My Cruise to Jamaica, Cayman Islands, Cozumel - Problem factory / Traveling is overrated.

in #travel7 years ago (edited)

Here's a synopsis of my journey on the Carnival Vista cruise to Jamaica, Cayman Islands, and Cozumel, from start to finish.

  • infinite planning
  • spend a ton of money
  • stress about packing
  • stress about logistics of making it to the boat on time
  • stopped by TSA security for random screening
  • wait around for 20 minutes while they fondle my phone
  • barely get to flight on time, miss any chance of a decent breakfast
  • infinite turbulence and babies screeching, no chance for sleep
  • pilot decides to fly in circles for 30 minutes outside the landing area
  • off the plane and the bus is leaving in 5 minutes half a mile away
  • make it to the docks, baggage guy demands a tip to 'keep luggage safe'
  • wait in infinite line to go inside the boarding area
  • wait around for boarding zones
  • mine is called, get into infinite line to get on the boat
  • go through 15 layers of security all asking for the same things
  • get on the boat an hour later, go for food to find everyone else does the same
  • wait in line for 2 hours to get food
  • food is weaponized bread and soggy prison slop, at least the plates have cool patterns
  • most interesting places on 10th floor, my room on 1st floor
  • all the elevators are either broken or reserved for crew
  • overhear someone mention crew leaves bags outside the rooms
  • go to my room to find bags are missing
  • spend rest of the day recovering my luggage at guest services
  • sleep on a bed that feels like it's made of bricks, the carpet would have been a better choice
  • first day at sea I enter into art contest, I win $200 in auction bid prizes
  • turns out the entire thing was a scam to lure me into bidding before saying the vouchers are invalid
  • arrive at Jamaica the next day, my excursion for ziplining has been cancelled
  • decide to roam around outside the port, constantly harassed by locals trying to sell me stuff
  • arrive at Cayman Islands next day, scuba diving excursion has been cancelled
  • last minute book a trip to swin with stingrays at the sandbar, costs a fortune
  • get out to sandbar and boat captain spends 35 minutes trying to anchor alongside the other boats
  • by the time we get into water we have 15 minutes remaining to stay at sandbar
  • leave and sit for 30 minutes again listening to obnoxiously loud island music on the boat ride back
  • captain waiting on the dock insultingly expecting a tip
  • next day arrive at Cozumel, excursion planned for Mayan ruins amazingly not cancelled
  • turns out the ruins are tiny and have swarms of mosquitos on the scale of a biblical plague
  • over half of the tour is a speech about the giftshops, eaten alive by mosquitos listening to sales pitch
  • finally escape the tour, met by hyperaggressive shop owners everywhere else
  • politely mention I leave my money on the ship, they suggest I trade for my shoes and watch
  • fight my way through mandatory shopping strip to back on the ship to eat
  • realize the abstract art on the plates isn't art at all, it's crusty food, all the dishes are perpetually dirty
  • a couple days of nonsense passing time at sea, can't wait to leave
  • get off the ship and repeat the nightmare of getting on the ship in reverse, TSA included
  • realize it costed thousands of dollars to go through hell
  • deep feeling of regret



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My cruise to Jamaica

Saved a lot of money, but never made it

great post!

Sounds terrible. Never been on a cruise ship. I thought they were better than that....Good advertising no doubt!

Thanks!

WOW what a nightmare, maybe my wife is right in being adamant to never go on a cruise

She is. Listen to your wife! This posts triggers me to remember the two miserable times I was stuck on a floating nightmare. Take one of my memories and pretend it is yours. The only possible good idea is a long established and highly expensive river cruise, but even then, the locals are waiting for you.

I never liked cruise ships- you just reminded me, never to take a trip on one. Thank you

Wow, the reality of cruise travel, it's not as glamorous as we thought.

You took alot of Bullets man, but your still kicking.

Simple.....travel with Royal Caribbean, absolutely no comparison, way superior. Same journey was brilliant. We docked in Cozumel at the same time as a Carnival Cruise and heard the horror stories. We had a fantastic time.

Wow...you have more experiences travaling to carribian islands with cruise ship.it's fantastic experence in our life.thanks sharingfor your knowladge with us.GOD BLESS YOU. Thanks.

Sounds horrible.

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