Hello my name is Erith, I am a transgender woman

and I am pre- just about everything. It is odd trying to formulate exactly how I came to this conclusion and if you knew me growing up, you would never have guessed. I was a very queer, and atypical boy. But I was just that, a boy. Never any symptoms or tell tale signs that I was anything other than a boy with emotional problems and an odd sense of humor.
I grew up in a christian, military household. I think this says it all. My father's work always had us moving around southern California and even to Georgia once when I was 12. My real story starts at around 13, when I moved back to California and got my first rock CDs. It is super stereotypical rebellion and parental reactions. I wanted black clothes, they said no. I got them anyways, I got ground. I wanted dyed hair, they said no. I got it anyways, I got grounded. Etc, etc.
The real struggle started when I was 15 and feel into some heavy bullying and depression, so much so that I eventually had to drop out of High School. But before I was free, I got caught with scabs from cutting on my arm. Well it was more that my scab got scratched off and I started bleeding all over my science classroom.

Flash forward to counselors office calling parents, then calling some sort of child service. Child service something says I have to go into therapy. I don't have a choice.
Now I am sitting in front of a woman who knows nothing about me with a pair of tight girl jeans, a cute band tee, and long hair talking about how I am sad and don't eat and hate my body. She tells my parents I am anorexic and that my tight girls clothing is making it worse somehow and my parents take away all my girl clothes. This made me incredibly upset for obvious reasons now. I didn't know my body hatred was gender dysphoria, and my not eating was purely from depression. So i got to think I was anorexic and then got sent to a psychiatrist.

The psychiatrist said Prozac. Prozac said be a zombie. I listened.

So now I am a zombified kid out of high school and trying to go to community college. I do well for a bit but then drop out. I never wanted to do anything but drink, smoke pot, go to shows, and take ecstacy. I was a real great role model, and on the fast track to becoming another drugged up statistic. Luckily none of the drugs ever lead to addiction except alcohol, when I was traveling.

So I had my drunken party and squatting years that took up a lot of my life from then. It was ages 17-21. And now I am 23 approaching 24. I got my act together and now have a wife and kids. Then suddenly I decide to start becoming horribly depressed again.
This depression got bad enough to were suicide started to look real nice. Somehow wearing women's clothing and makeup when no one was home ended up helping. So I did that. I then got very confused about my gender identity and started to think back on my life wondering if I had any signs of this. I went to forum after forum trying to find out if I was using a fetish to cope, if I was queer, if I was transgender. And that was it. transgender.
I never thought that word would describe me. But here I am writing this, a whole wardrobe of cute dresses, and trying to find someway to make enough to get hormones and hair removal.
Well that is my basic overview and introduction. I will post more things about my life, (as memories resurface,) my daily thoughts, and maybe even poetry. Love you all,
That queer bitch Erith <3