RE: Things I Used To Do: Traffic Koans
Ahh! Haha! I did, didn't I? Well, thank you again for taking the time! :)
Yeah, okay so, this is one of those cases that I talked about. I don't know if it just didn't translate well, or I didn't convey it clearly, or you misunderstood what I said. Anyway, whatever the case. There was a time when I did comment on consecutive posts of yours (a Gentle Werewolf episode included, I believe), but since you post multiple times daily it's quite hard to keep track (more than twice my total posts! :O). You're actually one of the most ardent posters I've seen, so it's almost impossible to vote and thoughtfully comment on every one of your posts without exhausting my voting power and the time I'm spending on Steemit. That's no slight on you, dude, don't get me wrong. As you said, that's what I can reasonably do for you.
Before this month, the most I've ever posted was once a day for seven straight days. Often I just post one or two posts per day. Even though I commented consecutively on your posts, you didn't even comment on a single one of mine. No resentment there, I'm sure you were busy or you had other posts you wanted to comment on lined up. But, that's the case I talked about in terms of continued support.
If you would notice, the people whose posts I continually support (vote, read, comment) are the ones who do the same for me. As I mentioned, it's the least I could do--to return the gesture. Time is precious, I get that, so when people take the time to comment on each of my posts, I make it a point to do the same.
That's why when I meet someone new here, I make it a point to not miss at least three of their posts to test out how responsive they are. If they don't comment on any of my posts then c'est la vie. If they do comment at least once, I continue to support their posts, without missing a single one. That is, until I notice them stop commenting on my posts, in which case I feel like the support is one-way. I give it at least three posts again, rinse and repeat.
That's how I weed out people who I never miss posts of. It's a bit methodical and quite calculating, but yeah, I'm trying to avoid feeling any resentment because of one-way support.
I hope that clarifies my M.O. here. It's certainly not the best approach, as my stalled progress shows, but it's how I operate. Oh, and I actually played in your contest, thrice (the third one was an unofficial entry) if my memory serves me correctly. So yeah, I guess more times than you submitted an entry for mine :D I lost both times and we had a discussion about contests, with you telling me that I should just try and try, and me saying that my contest winning streak is being slowly erased. You did make a good point that I should just join for the fun of it and for experience, but yeah I'm just the type of cautious person who only joins contest that I feel I have a legitimate chance of winning. In a way, I guess the lack of participation for my own contest is karma haha! As for the time consumed, hmm.. I would have to respectfully disagree, or at least suggest an impasse. It's quite subjective, isn't it? In my mind, entries for my contest is simpler and less time consuming because you don't have to be creative. Just recall a story and write it in the comments section. The same cannot be said about making puns. It just must come naturally to you, that's why you feel it's simpler :) For other people, we really do need to think about it quite a bit. Sometimes we get lucky and we get it on the first try. But, not always.
Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts, Brendan. You gave me a lot to think about. I appreciate you imparting all of these. When we think about it, it really all boils down to expectations. It's a good thing I expected this type of scenario so I'm not too down about it :D
Well, I'm glad you're not too down about it. I gave you a shoutout in a recent post, so I can hope some folks stop by and interact with you because of it... not that anyone much reads my posts either.
I keep trying to upvote your comment, above, but for some reason I keep getting an alert... whoop, nope, there we go. It worked this time. (after 4+ attempts)
I think we have very different takes on what people SHOULD do. As you say, it boils down to expectations. I seek you out from time to time. I comment on your posts when I come across them in my feed. I have no rule about commenting on your posts. I kind of feel like, if I didn't seek you out, you'd never come by my page, so while you reciprocate attention, you don't seek me out. It's a different kind of feeling underappreciated than you have, but it's similar. It's hard to build a friendship when we both have such different ideas of what it should be like, but we'll persevere, eh?
But let's talk about those feelings of resentment we can feel about one-way support. I think we both will be better off if we can abandon those feelings regardless of our own behavior. Let us all learn to be fans of those we are fans of and expect nothing in return. We're fans of people because of their work, and it's NICE if they're fans of our work, but that's not WHY we're fans of they're work. My example is @suesa. I just like her writing. But I don't really expect her to like my writing or even read it. I just like hers. I feel better about that because, if I'm not seeking attention, I can just be a fan. Steemit mixes social media and fandom in a way that I'm ambivalent about. On the one hand, yes, all social media connects creators with fans. On the other hand, Steemit in particular is a community of 90% content creators. That's freakin' tough. We all need an audience, but we're only an audience of each other. Weird. Also, popularity is almost directly tied to profitability. That also makes for some unusuals for otherwise normal social interactions.
And yes, your contest did feel much harder to me than my contest feels to me, but I guess that is, indeed, because of our particular skill sets, or perhaps because of our expectations of what others' expectations of us are (I.E. I felt like I had to tell an interesting story that lent something useful to the conversation if I was going to tell a story at all.)
More thoughts about contests, not that you're ever going to try hosting a contest again:
Not that there's hundreds of entrants, but, since everyone wins my contest (i.e., an upvote), as long as they try, whether they make a good pun or not, maybe it feels like there's no risk, only reward. Whereas, since in your contest one had to tell the BEST story, so if and when one reads the other stories and thinks, "well, that's a better story than I'd tell," perhaps one wouldn't feel like they'd be contributing much to the discussion.
BTW, if it makes you feel any better, I have spent more time commenting on your posts over my history of steemit than I have on any other individual's account. I SUSPECT, though I don't know how much time you spend on each comment, that I have spent more time commenting in your threads than you have on mine. That's not blockchain measurable, but since there's a need on your end to be reassured that your attention is reciprocated, be assured that it is and has been.
I will add, that the way in which you've decided to do your steemit-ing means to me that you will never come to actually be a fan of my work. That nips at the back of my mind. That you will comment on my works according to your rules, but that we won't actually be able to talk about the work itself, because you're just following your rules. I dunno. Maybe not. Maybe you'll allow yourself to be excited by something that you really like or that you'll feel the need to express your criticism for something that you have a big problem with if you are so inspired, but it doesn't FEEL that way. Am I wrong?
I hope I wasn't too impolitic here. Just writing a lot of thoughts as I have them.
Oh, also, when I said "What do you mean by consistently commented and voted on the people you're following? You did several times on my stuff, but certainly not on everything. I'm not complaining, I don't expect that, but you didn't, for example, play in my contest, which I think is even simpler and less time consuming than yours, more than I played in yours."
I meant, "over the course of the contest" Because that's what I thought you meant... that you had sought out your followers once you started your contest, and interacted with them. I meant that I did your contest a couple times while it was running this past month, but until I did, I hadn't seen you in a while.
Good point you don't people to always comment just because they want to win something. But I think contests are cool, also as a way of driving people to your website.
Thanks for the shoutout! Much appreciated, man. You already know I gave you a week-long shoutout the other month, so I hope that brought in a couple of new followers.
Admittedly, you're more fast and loose about it while I'm a bit more rigid. I made it this way for me because I really don't want to miss out in responding to anyone who comments on me. Since I don't have a lot of time to spare, I'm trying to be economical about it. I have sought you out a bunch of times before. Like I said, there was a stretch where I continually commented on your work even though you didn't comment on mine. No worries there, but yeah, I have sought you out a few times before. So, I totally get what you mean. I don't want to say that seekin out and not being reciprocated weighs more, but it is what it is.
With regard to one-way support, I totall get what you're saying and you make a really great point. The thing is, like I said, I can only fit so much Steemit time in my day, so as much as I want to comment on posts I enjoy reading, I put precedence to the people who support me. I think we just have different approaches, and I totally respect how you go about things. It's just that, in my life, I've had trouble finding people who genuinely return support. I am often excluded in things (which I hate), that's why I try to be as inclusive as I can. People who make me feel included are rare gems that I try not to let go of. So, if I would be given a choice whether to comment on people who won't even reply to my comment, I'd rather have long conversations with people who do appreciate my support and who reciprocate it as well.
Maybe that's just how I'm wired. I'm not really a huge "fan" of anything, in the strictest sense of the word, so maybe that's why I don't have droves of "fans" as well. I would rather develop lasting connections than just have passerbys. That strategy has worked for me to some extent, if we're talking about profitability. Sure, I'm not raking it in with regard to earnings, but I have a steady flow of conversations because I've fostered it through reciprocating support.
There you go. I've received entries that read like stream of consciousness stories, and that's all well and good. I wanted people to have a profound experience even though they're just telling a story from their past. Based on some of the testimonies, that was achieved so I'm a happy camper. It didn't explode the way I wanted it to, but it got the reception I needed it to. I hope that makes sense.
Do you remember now that I joined your pun contest a number of times before? I didn't win any of those, so I'm not sure if the rules just changed. I think I "won" the last one, but it's only the consolation prize I think. Also, while you have a cool mechanic, I don't think that's the norm. Many other contests here have only a strict set of winners, hence what I told you about my former winning streak. So yeah, I don't think it's really that comparable. Every contest is different in that regard. I did give a 100% upvote on all of the entries, so I guess that's the same with your mechanic of everyone winning.
Sure, some people would feel discouraged by seeing a greater entry, but other people don't. I often belong to the former, so I can relate, but I've received tons of great entries after some already awesome entries. Looking at other people's contests, I could say that happens quite a lot. While I'm not a big believer in competition, people have the tendency to be competitive. I don't think your thoughts on it is the norm, though I do like the way you think about it.
If you would examine my comments, I spend a lot of time replying to everyone. With that in mind, the time I spent replying to you would be among the average time I spend replying. But, that's because I spend a lot of time replying and posting comments. I guess the average time I spend is greater than many other Steemians spend on comments. This whole conversation, while it's particularly long in current standards, is not even among the top 5 longest conversations I've had here haha! I hope that gives you a ballpark of the length of replies I give. Also, I don't think it's fair to assume the time I spend commenting on your posts, especially since some of your posts only have less than 300 words.
I guess I'm a fan of people more than their work. To be honest, I'm not quite sure how my rules affect the quality of comments I give. And, it's not that I only comment on people who comment on me. I'm not sure you're hearing me very well when I say that I venture on posts. After making sure that I have reciprocated support, I branch out to other posts and try to connect with people. I do so by choosing posts by people I don't know that interests me. Whether that translates to a lasting connection, only time will tell.
It's not that I don't read other people's work, because I do. Admittedly, this is not the perfect way to go about things, but it's what helps me not develop resentment. I just won't bother leaving, for example this type of long comment, on people who won't even bother to reply to it, much less comment on any of my posts. I don't think I could explain it any further.
I do appreciate you taking your time to elaborate. This is the kind of conversation that I'm talking about.
I'm glad you enjoy this conversation. I'm not sure what else to say. I think it's difficult to convey entire meaning in writing on one hand, and on the other I've had trouble in person, too. I think you've done an excellent job thoroughly explaining your position. I think I hear a tone that you don't intend, and that's why reading conversations can lead to misunderstandings.
To clarify, if you're happy, I'm happy. If you're frustrated, I'm frustrated. If you're disappointed, I'm disappointed.
I guess we can agree that there are just different strokes for different folks. Everyone might not always see eye to eye, but that makes agreements all the more special.
I think you are right your contests are not that time consuming. As far as followers/following are concerned @xervantes does these cool stats where he checks which people's posts are most profitable to comment on and which authors...sorry can't remember the other stat but i like that one. Apparently i was number 3 on his rankings.